#i know i will hurt so so bad for weeks but im also sure that the love will morph into something platonic | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

inseobts · 3 months ago

Note

Can you do a gn but soft feminine reader where they get worried that Shanks and them are drifting apart (theyre married) and that Shanks now even seems like he may have started cheating, even being caught on an island in like the pleasure district or something. Super angsty the reader is suffering and stuff but im sensitive obviously so it turns out he had also felt like maybe he had been too busy and distant with stress and planning (this is close to the current canon time) to pay proper attention to reader so the "cheating" was him trying to find out a way to like get them a romantic place alone. Like the pleasure district girls were just teaching him about different gifts he could get you and the best hotels/resturants to go to for a date. He chose them just bc he could pay for their time so no bothering random people and they were knowledgable about the finer stuff in life. Pls end fluffy and they actually make up and get along and stuff and go on the date. You can add smut at the end if things get heated at the hotel but if it feels like it doesn't fit in the story youre writing you don't have to add it.

sorry if i sent this twice i have bad memory and i dont remember if i actually sent it or not so just in case im sending it again its not me rushing you or spamming

Driftwood Hearts

shanks x gn!reader

a/n: at some point I forgot I was writing it as gn!reader, I tried to fix it but I'm not sure I didn't miss any. I also forgot he has a missing arm...

words count: 3.5k

tags: mild smut, angst with comfort, misunderstandings, emotional hurt/comfort, marriage struggles, pre-egghead

masterlist || ao3 || ko-fi

The wind brushes gently across your skin as you stand at the railing of the Red Force, eyes fixed on the endless blue. It’s quiet except for the creak of wood and distant voices of the crew laughing below deck. But you don’t feel like laughing. You haven’t in a while.

The sea always feels colder without him by your side.

You swallow hard, fingers tightening on the rail. Shanks has been gone for four days now, anchored at a nearby island for “business”, but the way he avoided your eyes before leaving haunts you more than the distance itself. He kissed your forehead and told you he loved you, but it felt… forced. Or maybe that’s just your fear talking.

No. Something’s wrong. You feel it, you know it.

You haven’t slept well in weeks. Shanks has been distant, preoccupied, caught in whispered meetings with Benn or writing something behind locked doors. He touches you less, barely looks up when you enter the room, and when you reach for him at night, he turns away, murmuring that he’s tired.

But what scares you most is what Lucky Roux let slip last night over dinner.

“Yeah, I saw the captain heading toward the pleasure district. Guess he needed to unwind, huh?”

You didn’t ask for clarification. You couldn’t. The blood had drained from your face and you had excused yourself quietly, retreating to your shared quarters, where the bed still smelled like him.

You feel sick remembering it. You’ve tried to be reasonable. He’s a Yonko. He’s busy. He’s under pressure. But you’re his wife. And yet lately, it feels like you’re just… a fixture. A memory he keeps forgetting to look at.

Footsteps approach behind you. Your heart jumps instinctively with hope, but it’s Benn.

He gives you a small nod “He’ll be back before sundown.”

You just nod, eyes still on the sea “Thanks.”

There’s a pause.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine...” you lie, your voice soft but trembling.

He doesn’t press. He just gives a long sigh and leaves you be.

Later that evening you hear his boots before you see him. The heavy, slow step of someone who’s either dreading a conversation, or trying to steel themselves for it.

You sit on the edge of the bed, hands folded tightly in your lap, trying not to shake. Your heart pounds when the door creaks open.

“Hey,” Shanks says softly. His hair’s tousled from the wind, his cape half off his shoulder, and he looks… tired. His gaze lingers on you for a moment, your stiff posture, your swollen eyes, and something flickers in his face.

“You’re back” you whisper.

He closes the door gently behind him “Yeah.”

Silence. It stretches too long.

“I heard where you were...” you say quietly, almost apologetically, as if it’s wrong to admit you know.

Shanks doesn’t answer right away. He walks a little closer, but not enough. His jaw tenses.

“Is it true?” your voice breaks just slightly “Did you really go to the pleasure district?”

He flinches “It’s not what you think.”

You shake your head, tears burning hot behind your eyes “Then what is it, Shanks? Because lately, I don’t know where you are anymore. You’re here, but you’re not. You don’t see me. You don’t touch me. You barely even talk to me unless it’s about the ship.”

He stares at you, and his expression cracks “I know.”

You blink, caught off guard.

“I know I’ve been… distant.” He drags a hand through his hair “And I hate that I made you feel alone. That’s the last thing I ever wanted.”

“Then why?” your voice trembles “Why were you there?”

He takes a breath and crosses the room in two strides, kneeling in front of you “Because I’ve been trying to plan something. For us.”

You don’t understand “What?”

He smiles, but it’s bitter with guilt “I didn’t want to bother random people asking where to take my wife on the perfect date, so I paid women who know the best spots. Gifts. Food. Hotels. I asked them what someone like you would love. That’s all it was.”

You’re frozen. Your mouth parts, but no sound comes out.

He takes your hand gently “I was afraid I’d been too absent. That I hadn’t made you feel loved. And I thought… if I could find the right place, something just for us, maybe I could show you how much I still adore you. But I screwed it all up by not telling you.”

Your vision blurs “You weren’t cheating…?”

He looks devastated “No. God, no. Never. I love you. I love you more than anything. I’ve just been so stressed about everything. Egghead, the tension between the Emperors, the Marines breathing down our necks… I didn’t mean to push you away.”

Your body trembles, and finally you let go. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, burying your face into his neck, and cry.

“I thought I was losing you...” you whisper, voice shattered.

He holds you so tight it almost hurts “You’ll never lose me. Never.”

The cabin is dark even though the sun has long since risen.

You haven’t moved from the bed.

Shanks had fallen asleep holding you last night, warm and solid, whispering apologies and promises, but the ache in your chest didn’t fade. If anything, it’s worse now.

Because you want to believe him. You need to.

But some part of you still hurts too deeply to reach for his words. That soft little voice in your head won’t stop whispering:

If he really loved you, why did it get this far? Why didn’t he notice sooner?

He’s gone again this morning.

You heard him slip out quietly hours ago. No kiss. No note. Just a hush and the sound of boots.

You stare at the door.

Was last night just guilt?

You pull the blanket tighter around yourself, curling up in the center of the bed that now feels too big, too empty. You’re sick of crying, but the tears still come out. Quiet, desperate sobs that shake your shoulders as you muffle them into the pillow.

Why does love feel so much like breaking?

Flashback – A Week Ago “Do you need anything?” you asked him quietly, standing in the doorway of his study. He didn’t even look up “No.” You tried again “Even just… a few minutes? I miss you.” “I said I’m busy.” He hadn’t meant it harshly, you tell yourself. But the words had still hit like a slap. You remember standing there, fingers tightening around the edge of the doorframe, waiting for him to glance your way. He never did.

Present

You’re still trembling when you hear the door creak open again. Heavy footsteps. A pause.

Shanks.

But you don’t move.

He calls your name once, quiet. Then again, more hesitant “Baby?”

You don’t answer. You just lay there, eyes shut.

He walks closer, then sits on the edge of the bed “I went to confirm the reservation,” he says carefully “For the place I told you about.”

Silence.

He swallows “I want to take you somewhere beautiful. Just us. No crew. No stress. I wanted it to be a surprise…”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Your voice is raw.

He flinches at the sound of it.

“I didn’t know how to fix it,” he admits “I thought if I just did something big enough, maybe I could make it up to you. Instead of facing how much I’d already let slip away.”

Your breath catches.

He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees “I keep thinking about how I’ve failed you. You married me, and I still made you feel like you were second to everything else in my life. That’s on me.”

You finally turn your head toward him “I thought you didn’t want me anymore.”

The words land heavy. His shoulders tense.

“You’re everything I want,” he says hoarsely “I just forgot how to show it. And I was so damn afraid that if I turned around, you’d be gone.”

You sit up slowly, blanket still clutched to your chest “I wanted to leave. I started packing, twice. I kept wondering if I stayed, would it hurt worse than walking away.”

His eyes go glassy “You were gonna leave me?”

You nod, and it breaks him.

He falls to his knees beside the bed, burying his face in your lap “I deserve that. I deserve every second because of the way I made you feel.”

You stroke his hair, hands trembling “You don’t. But I was scared. You’re always looking out for the world, Shanks… and sometimes I wonder if you forget how small I am compared to it.”

He lifts his head, and the pain in his eyes is unbearable “You are my world.”

Then he reaches into his coat pocket.

A small, folded cloth. Inside some delicate jewelry, hand-crafted glass roses, a map with hand-drawn notes on the margins: circles around restaurants, sketches of views he wanted to show you.

“I went to the pleasure district because they know things, like what to buy, what’s romantic. I didn’t want to half-ass this. I wanted it to be perfect.”

Tears spill over your cheeks “You idiot.”

He chuckles weakly “That’s fair.”

“I don’t care about perfect.” You lean in, voice cracking “I just want you. Not a version of you that shows up with flowers once it’s already broken. I want you beside me when things start to crack.”

Shanks nods slowly “Then I’m here. From now on, I’m here.”

You’re both crying now. But this time it feels… healing.

When you lean in to kiss him, it’s slow. Deep. Raw. A kiss that tastes like sorrow and survival.

He presses his forehead to yours.

“Let me take you on this date.” he whispers “Let me try. Just one night, to remind you of us.”

You nod.

And in that quiet, your heart finally begins to piece itself back together.

The island air is warm as Shanks leads you up the winding path through the trees, fingers laced tightly with yours.

He doesn’t speak much, just gives your hand little squeezes now and then, like he’s afraid you’ll let go. You don’t.

You pass through ivy-covered archways and stone steps lit with lanterns, until you reach a quiet hilltop villa overlooking the sea.

It’s stunning.

Soft white fabric flows like waves around the open balcony. Candlelight flickers in tall glass lanterns, dancing over a table set for two. In the distance, waves crash softly against the rocks. But it’s the little details that stop your breath.

Your favorite flowers. A wine you once mentioned in passing, chilled and waiting. A pair of sandals that match the ones you lost on Dressrosa, placed by the door like a quiet apology.

“You remembered all this?” you ask softly.

“I never forgot.” Shanks murmurs “I was just too buried in my own head to show it.”

Your heart aches. But not the way it did before. This ache feels more like thawing.

You step inside the villa together. It’s private. Warm. Gentle lighting, music playing faintly in the background, a violin, lilting and slow.

Dinner is quiet at first.

You sip, you eat, you share pieces of food with soft smiles and hesitant fingers brushing. The air between you feels careful, like the two of you are still remembering how to breathe in each other’s rhythm.

And then, somewhere between the last bite and the second glass of wine, Shanks leans back and really looks at you.

“You wore that expression the first time we met” he says quietly, a ghost of a smile on his lips “Half curious, half like you already knew I’d ruin your life.”

You raise an eyebrow “You did ruin my life.”

“And you still said ‘I do.’”

You reach across the table and take his hand “Because even when you drive me insane, I know who you are underneath it. You’re not just a captain. Not just a Yonko. You’re the man who sits beside me when I cry and still calls me beautiful.”

He looks down, jaw tight “You scared me.”

You blink “I scared you?”

“You were slipping away, and I knew it, and I didn’t know how to stop it.” His voice is strained “I thought if I just held everything else together, the crew, the politics, the alliances, then we could get through it. But all I did was push you further.”

You let silence sit for a moment.

“Next time, just hold me.”

He nods, eyes glassy “Yeah. I will. I swear to you.”

Later, in the Villa bedroom the air gets softer. The light low, the sheets freshly turned, the balcony doors open to let the ocean whisper inside.

You both stand in the doorway for a moment, unmoving.

Then Shanks steps behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. He rests his chin on your shoulder “You still feel far away.”

“I don’t mean to” you whisper.

“I know.” He kisses your neck slowly “Can I get closer?”

You nod, turning in his arms.

The kiss you share this time is deep but it’s not rushed. Not lust-driven or demanding. It’s reverent.

His hands slide to your hips, careful, asking. And you melt into him, fingers curled in his hair.

Clothes fall away slowly. Like they’re being forgiven piece by piece.

Every inch he touches is a wordless apology. Every kiss is a promise to never let things get this broken again.

He looks so open, so bare... eyes soft, lips parted like he’s still trying to breathe you in.

Your hand finds his cheek “You look at me like that, and I’ll never be able to stay mad at you.”

“I’m counting on it” he says with a quiet smile.

The kiss you share is slow, lazy, lingering like you’ve both been starving for each other. And you have.

You sigh against his mouth as his fingers slide down your back, over your waist, to your hip. The weight of his touch is steady, but unhurried.

“Can I touch you?” he asks softly, breath brushing over your jaw.

You nod, already melting beneath him “Please.”

He shifts over you, body flush against yours. The feeling of his skin against your own is overwhelming, warm, grounding, real. Every inch of contact feels like a reassurance.

His mouth traces your collarbone, then lower, pressing gentle kisses over the parts of you he missed, like he’s trying to memorize you again.

His hand finds your thigh, sliding up slowly.

You gasp when his fingers brush where you need him most, already wet, already aching. He groans quietly against your neck.

“You’re already soaked.”

“It’s you,” you breathe “It’s always you.”

He sinks two fingers inside you, slow and deep, curling them just right. You arch, hand fisting in the sheets as your body trembles under his touch.

“You feel so good like this” he murmurs, kissing your jaw.

When he finally moves over you, positioning himself between your legs, he doesn’t rush it. He just looks down at you, brows knit in something close to awe.

“I don’t deserve you” he whispers.

“Then earn me...” you whisper back.

And he does.

He pushes inside you slowly, forehead pressed to yours.

It’s lovemaking, real and deep and raw. His hands caressing your face, your thighs, your heart.

You whisper his name. Over and over. And he answers with soft gasps, broken praise, shaky murmurs of “I love you” between kisses.

When you come, it’s with your forehead pressed to his, tears in your eyes and nails digging into his back. And he follows just seconds later, trembling above you, holding you like he never wants to let go.

You end up wrapped in the sheets, tangled in limbs and whispered vows and bare skin warmed by candlelight. It’s not even about sex, though the want is there, steady and sweet, but it’s more about feeling. Rebuilding.

Later, lying against his chest, you trace slow shapes on his skin.

“I don’t need fancy” you murmur “I just need this.”

His voice is low against your hair “Then this is yours. Always.”

The villa is bathed in warm dawn light.

The ocean hums beyond the balcony, and the silk sheets are tangled around your legs. You don’t remember falling asleep, but you remember every second of last night, every whispered apology, every kiss, every way Shanks clung to you like he thought you’d vanish if he let go.

You shift slightly in the bed, and Shanks stirs behind you, breath brushing against your neck.

“Mornin’ beautiful” he murmurs, voice still low and rough with sleep.

You hum softly, stretching “I didn’t dream that, did I?”

His arm slips around your waist, pulling you closer “No, sweetheart. You’re right here.”

Shanks brushes a thumb along your cheek, your lips, your throat “You’re everything to me,” he says “You know that, right?”

“I do now.”

You kiss his knuckles and tuck yourself against his chest, warm and sore and whole again.

And this time, when you fall asleep, it’s without fear.

The villa is quiet again, but this time it’s not tense, but just slow and peaceful.

You stretch out on the linen sheets, the morning sun warming your skin. The space beside you is empty, but you can hear him in the next room, moving around, humming softly under his breath.

You smile before you even open your eyes.

A moment later, the door creaks open, and Shanks walks in shirtless, hair damp, a plate in one hand and two mugs in the other.

“Look at that,” you tease sleepily “You can be domestic.”

He grins “Only for you.”

He sets the tray on the bedside table and slides in beside you again. You sit up, and he hands you your favorite blend of tea without needing to ask. The mug is warm in your hands. His shoulder brushes yours, bare and solid.

You take a sip “This is nice.”

“It’s more than nice” he says, voice soft “It’s… right.”

You glance sideways. He’s looking at you like you’re made of glass, but not fragile. Precious.

“You okay?” you ask.

“I am now,” he says, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear “I don’t want to go back.”

You smile faintly “You mean the ship? Or reality?”

“Both.”

You lean into him, resting your head on his shoulder “We can’t stay here forever.”

“I know. But I wanted one more quiet morning before I go back to being Captain Red-Haired Shanks, Yonko of the New World.”

You chuckle “You forgot ‘disaster of a husband’ in there.”

He nudges you with a groan “Ouch. Low blow.”

You finish your tea in companionable silence, then finally, reluctantly, start to move.

As you dress, he watches you from the bed, chin in his hand, that lazy grin creeping back onto his face “I’m going to be annoying about you for the next month, you know.”

“Oh?” You raise an eyebrow, pulling your shirt over your head.

“Mm. I’m gonna brag. To Benn. To Lucky. Hell, to Mihawk if he shows up. Gonna say, ‘See? That’s mine. I have someone who still loves me, even though I nearly fumbled it all.’”

You laugh, cheeks warm “They all already know that.”

He walks over, presses a kiss to your forehead “Yeah, but now I remember it again.”

Later on, the moment your boots hit the deck, you’re surrounded by the familiar sounds of the ship, the crew shouting to each other, seagulls overhead, the gentle groan of wood beneath your feet.

Benn is the first to approach, his expression unreadable “Welcome back, Captain. Y/N.”

You nod, trying not to shrink under his gaze. You’re not sure how much the crew knew… how much they saw before you left.

But Benn simply gives a short nod “Glad to see you two walking side by side again.”

Shanks smiles, hand settling warmly on your back “We’re more than side by side.”

Lucky Roux whistles from the helm “Damn right you are! Took you long enough, Captain!”

“You all knew?” you ask, half-embarrassed.

Yasopp grins from across the deck “We knew something was off. Man’s been moping like a kicked puppy for weeks.”

Shanks mutters, “I have not!”

“You were so depressing we started a betting pool” Bonk Punch adds.

Your eyes widen “A what?!”

“It ended yesterday,” Benn says, deadpan “Roux won. He bet you’d be back today.”

You cover your face with both hands while Shanks laughs, his arm tightening around your waist “God, I missed this dumb crew.”

“They missed you...” you say, a little quieter.

He leans down, presses his lips to your ear “I missed us.”

You look up at him, sunlight catching in the red of his hair, that boyish grin soft around the edges now, and suddenly you’re not afraid anymore.

Not of drifting. Not of breaking.

Because you both remembered how to reach for each other again.

That night, you’re wrapped in his arms in your shared quarters. The door is locked. The ship rocks gently beneath you. His fingers trace slow patterns on your back.

“I want more days like this,” he whispers “Not just now. Always.”

“You’ll have them,” you murmur “Just don’t shut me out when it gets hard again.”

“I won’t,” he promises “You’re my anchor. I only drifted because I forgot where shore was.”

You smile into his chest, heart calm for the first time in what feels like forever.

“I’m right here.”

And you are.

477 notes · View notes

azzibuckets · 3 months ago

Text

letters from dallas part 1

paige bueckers x azzi fudd

a/n: in which i neglect all the other series and fics im supposed to be writing to send more angst ur way <3

lfd masterlist | main masterlist

May 1, 2025

Dear Azzi,

It fucking sucks here.

I know I’m supposed to be thankful for this opportunity. And I am, I swear. My teammates are nice. Arike’s been showing me around downtown. Nai and Lyss are funny. They’ve adopted me, called me their child. They remind me of us.

My therapist said it’s good to write down my feelings. Not sure how she’d say if it was letters, letters to you, but hey, something is better than nothing.

I saw a trailer for Frozen 3 last week and I thought of you. I hope you’re doing well. I called KK the other day. She was so excited - I felt bad. I haven’t been as good as I wanted to be with talking to our team - well, your team now - but it hurts too much knowing that they get to spend every day with you and I can’t. I asked her about you. She seemed hesitant to tell me. But I kept nagging her and she told me you’re good, spending a lot of time reading and stuff. Said they finally got you off Colleen Hoover. She wants me to move on, I can tell. It’s killing both of us, how I can’t let you go. But I guess writing these letters and stuffing them in my closet are how I’m trying to get my closure and deal with my feelings, so maybe this will help.

You’re on my fucking mind all the time, and I wish you weren’t. I miss you so bad sometimes it hurts to exist. If you saw the amount of melatonin I take every every night just to avoid you in my dreams, you’d probably yell at me.

Love,

Paige

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

June 7, 2025

Dear Azzi,

Have I mentioned that Drew hasn’t been talking to me? He blames me for our breakup, and he misses you like hell. I do too.

I played like shit in the game yesterday. I can’t believe we lost to the Sparks. It was nice seeing Cam again though. I don’t know if you remember, but it’s our anniversary. I saw that you were at the soccer game with the girls. You looked really good, really happy. I guess it doesn’t affect you like it affects me. And I know that should make me like, mad, or jealous. But I’m glad at least one of us is healing?

Honestly? it sucks having to see your face all over social media. It sucks even more whenever I go on my Instagram page and you’re all over it too. I could be salty and delete all of it, but that would start too much drama. Besides, that would mean deleting like half my posts

I wonder how Jose and Jon are doing. Jon unfollowed me the other day. That one hurt pretty bad. I miss my little brothers, and I miss your parents.

Love,

Paige

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

August 28, 2025

Dear Azzi,

Yesterday was a fucking shit show. Honestly, I didn’t expect you to even show up when I heard you guys were coming. It was weird, seeing you in the audience. It was everything I’d always imagined, you coming to my games, but it also made me feel sick, knowing this is what could’ve been. What should’ve been. I was nervous the last quarter thinking about what to say to you after the game, but god, Azzi, you couldn’t even look at me. I tried to talk to you after the group pic but you disappeared.

Maybe it’s a good time to tell you that Katie and Tim were at my game last week, against the Mystics. I’m gonna be honest, when I saw they were there, I avoided them, and I’m not proud of it. I ran to my car straight after the presser but somehow they found where I parked and were waiting next to it?? If this was a different circumstance I would’ve laughed.

All they told me was great game before I started crying. I don’t even know what came over me. But your mom hugged me and that made me cry even harder. They told me I was their daughter no matter what, and they loved me. I wrote it down as soon as I left because I didn’t ever wanna forget.

Azzi, we didn’t even marry each other like we promised, and I still feel like we left a broken family. I didn’t mean for this many people to get hurt, for this many relationships to shatter because ours did.

It makes forgetting you so much harder, and that’s what pisses me off. That I’ve injured my knee and gone through months of rehab and moved across the country to a brand new city, yet this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

From,

Paige

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

October 2nd, 2025

Dear Azzi,

I was calling KK again and I didn’t ask about you this time. I think I’m making some progress.

Arike keeps trying to get me with some of her friends, but it still doesn’t feel right. I think I need a little bit more time.

From,

Paige

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

October 20, 2025

Dear Azzi,

I turn 24 today. Damn I feel old. I’ve spent a third of my life now loving you.

From,

Paige

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

October 22nd, 2025

Dear Azzi,

I just got your present in the mail. You didn’t have to. I love it. Thank you.

- Paige

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

November 11, 2025

Happy birthday big head. I think you probably received my gift by now. I debated on writing a card, but you didn’t write me one, and I’ve decided to leave the cards (haha) in your hand. So I’m just following your lead. I hope you enjoy 23.

- Paige

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

December 7, 2025

Azzi,

Hell of a game yesterday. Proud of you. National player of the year performance

- P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

April 5, 2026

Az,

LET’S FUCKING GOOOO. Shit, man. Two peat natty champs??? Unbelievable. My hands are tweaking out, I can’t even read my own handwriting. I knew you could do it, Az. Thank you for not forcing me to wear irish merch..I never look good in green like you do

- P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

April 13, 2026

Azzi,

Drafted to the Sky????

See you so fucking soon

Nice fit at the draft btw

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

May 16, 2026

Dear Azzi,

Fuck, the way you smiled at me after that game. Maybe I’ll have the courage to finally text you. I know it’s probably not the best idea but…I still regret everything. It’s been a little bit more than a year and it still hurts as bad as it did the first day. Is this normal?

Love,

Paige

#paige bueckers #azzi fudd #pazzi #uconnwbb #paige x azzi #angst #paige bueckers x azzi fudd

485 notes · View notes

scarlettmurphy · 11 months ago

Text

STARCROSSED +ੈ✩‧₊˚ LOGAN HOWLETT.

logan and y/n — where you are completely in love with a man older then your father by a good 100 years.. and whose in love with another.

- content warning age gap. nsfw. sh. angst. not really happy endings! pairings: older!logan howlett x xaiver!reader

spoiler: horrible yearning!

note this is my first piece of work so i hope it’s okay! i love logan sm i had to write something for him — and this is really angsty :) pls ignore if there’s any bad grammar! i’m a bit lazy rn, also with the timeline for this fic i have no idea when im going for. im saying 2000s-2010s just remember its a bit scrambled timeline wise cos i wanted my favs here!🤭 enjoy!

you hated when he was around. you couldn’t stand it anymore. your longing glances to him, the yearning looks you gave him which were never returned and only thrown back into your face when you saw how he was looking at jean the way you looked at him.. it had all been getting too much. at first you acted like it didn’t bother you and part of your school-girl crush deluded brain pretend you were just seeing things but as the weeks / months had passed you realised that was the furthest thing from the truth.

recently you couldn’t even bring yourself to glance at him because it hurt too much and that wasn’t even being dramatic, the aching feeling in your heart wasn’t worth getting a glimpse of his timeless beauty so every time he was around you bit down the urges swallowed your pride and acted as if he was nobody to you, just a good friend. a father figure, a teammate.

it felt rude at first, to you since you were the only one noticing it, how you just stopped all those little things you were doing but you couldn’t help it or stop yourself from being like that because it was too hard to deal with — loving someone so much with all your heart but you knew you couldn’t have them. you hated to admit it but it destroyed you and that little part of you right now was falling into a full blown rage as you sat on the sofa alongside logan and wade — charles, hank, scott and rogue being present in the room too.

“i just don’t get her.” scott said out, repeating the same line over again, still bitching about the fight him and jean had after they all got back from the mission — everyone could hear the screaming and scott’s harsh gaze when he entered the room just confirmed it all and the second,of course, logan asked a question after wade made a snarky comment that set off scott and he hadn’t stopped mansplaining it since.

“yea’ well certain people don’t.” logan gruffly spoke out as y/n couldn’t stop her eyes from moving over to him at his words, feeling a sense of hurt coarse through her like it usually did whenever he spoke about jean or implied her. everyone knew what logan’s comment meant and y/n could see how scott was biting his tongue, clearly pissed off like he always was around logan. for good reason.

the tension only grew worse when scott couldn’t help himself and made a comment right back at him, his eyebrows raised as he stood from his seat. charles attention turning right to scott instead of logan, “and what’s that supposed to mean, asshole?” scott spat out like his words were venom.

rogue rolling her eyes at his words as hank shared a little glance with y/n who was cursing the entire situation in her brain as she couldn’t stop herself from looking at logan — those very same feelings boiling in her body as she saw the way his mouth twitched and his jaw clenched. how protective he was getting over jean, a feeling y/n couldn’t help have been wishing for the past two years of knowing the man he would get like over her — sure in a friends way he might’ve done it before, at least that’s how she saw but it never like this.

y/n swore she could physically feel her heart aching.

“pretty sure you know what that means pal.” logan bit back harshly, his words falling to the same tone as scott’s did as scott scoffed at what he said as he bit back with full frustration as charles clearly wanted to get involved - a little grimance pictured on his face as y/n studied her fathers expression, him clearly knowing what jean meant to logan, as y/n looked away before her dad could catch her staring her eyes falling onto a pissed off scott who downed the drink he had in his hand, placing it on the table.

“she picked me.” was all scott needed to say as the weight in the room shifted heavily on logan’s end as everyone could see the way logan’s face dropped a little, that comment taking the little coy expression he had right away but y/n didn’t even bring herself to look, scott’s eyes taking her in as if he knew what she was feeling in this moment. his eyes meeting her own as y/n felt a lump form her throat — the tightness almost burning — as he tutted at how silent logan was before he walked out the room without another word.

with this the room fell silent. everyone knowing the feelings logan must’ve been harbouring right now, y/n especially, as she glanced over to him not expecting to be met with his brown eyes looking back at her as he took in her expression before he roughly got up without another word — going right over to the door.

chaeles couldn’t help himself as he spoke up firmly the second he watched logan head for the door, “logan—“

“just goin’ for a piss, wheels.” he roughly said back before the door shut right behind him.

“more like a bitchless weaping session.” wade couldn’t help say as he had left the room, hank and rogue not being able to help their little laughs from coming out as y/n bit down on the inside of her cheek limiting the feelings she was experiencing as much as she could before she stood up.

“—i’m going to shower.” y/n said out lowly, her words slipping out quickly as the others nodded or hummed in agreement, wades eyebrows furrowing as he clearly felt he knew more of the situation then the rest did but he kept that to himself.

“take some pics for me!” wade called back to her, earning a little look from charles as hank scoffed in reply.

— +ੈ✩‧₊˚

that shower was more like watching a re run of singing in the rain which y/n couldn’t help watch the entirety of for no specific reason before she eventually hoped in the shower. the faint sounds of her speakers being heard as she hummed along to the lyrics of the specific song as she felt the cold water glide down her naked body.

swallowing the pain-filled whimpers that were aching to escape her wet lips as she acted as if the water gracing against all those marks and burns on her skin wasn’t killing her inside despite her ‘little’ case of immortality. immortality sadly didn’t mean you never experienced pain and y/n was clearly the leading case proving that matter as she soon got out the shower after washing her hair and her body.

wrapping the towel around her dainty body as she took in herself in the mirror, the thoughts forming in her brain being within the ‘self loathing’ category as she exited her bathroom. her face falling once she was met with the gruff expression on logans face which turned to one of shock as his eyes scanned over y/n immediately. him swallowing his own spit as y/n hands immediately wrapped around her towel just to make sure it wouldn’t fall.

“lo— shit, i didn’t know you were here.” she quickly managed out, her face a bright shade of red as she watched as logan didn’t move his gaze off her figure.

“—wait.” not a single word escaping his lips as y/n walked over to her bed where her clothes were laid out for her.

y/n’s breath was hitched and she swore she felt all the heat rush to her face as she took in the way logan was just staring at her as she grabbed her clothes with her other hand, taking a few steps back into the bathroom before she swiftly shut the door. her mind a mess as she quickly put on her pajamas before she sprung over to the mirror to double check her appearance before she walked back out to her bedroom.

logan being in the exact same place she had left him — not a single word had left his lips and his facial expression was the exact same as y/n nervously smiled at him.

“what are you doing— uh, here?” y/n asked him swiftly, her words rushed as she swore she could hear her heartbeat in her ears as she saw logan slowly seem to come back to reality, scratching the back of his neck as his lips parted as he tried to say something.

yet it took a little for something to come out as y/n swore she felt something growing in the air as logan finally spoke, his gruff tone a little knocked back then usual, “was coming here to bitch about scott. didn’t mean to see anything i shouldn’t have.”

his words sent a little chill through y/n’s spine as she managed a little smile on her lips, no matter how fake it was she still managed it, as she looked at him. his first words being all the confirmation her heart needed in this moment as she held back her feelings as she felt her heart tense.

“it’s okay.” y/n rolled out quietly, her attention falling over to her bed as she walked over to the foot off it — sitting down on the edge of the bed as logan stayed in place, his arms crossed as he leaned against the fireplace in her room now.

“so scott, you wanna bitch?” y/n trailed off into as logan looked out the window, seemingly lost in his thoughts as he shrugged his shoulders.

“nah, not anymore.” he said, his voice low as y/n took in his hush voice — his words only adding to the building up tension that was making the air thick as y/n looked at him. her eyes taking in every inch off him and how he looked, her mind wondering how he’d feel.. how’d he’d taste.

yet her thoughts were immediately cut short.

“—you seen jean about?”

his words were like a harsh hit round the face as she felt a lump for her in throat, her mind tingling a little as she glanced over to the door. she hated this, every inch of this. she wanted to scream, punch him in the face. confess right there and there at him but she didn’t. she couldn’t.

no matter how much it killed her inside. every second without him being like a gun shot to the heart as she plainly looked back at him, a soft smile growing on her face which was so fake it was indescribable as she nodded to her bedroom door.

“her room, i guess.”

her low words were enough to make anyone know she was hurt yet of course logan didn’t, or he didn’t show he knew as he gave her a playful wink.

“thanks bub.” he said with a nod as he went to walk out the room — his hand on the door when y/n heard his muttered words.

“sleep well y/n.”

his words fell into silence as y/n watched him leave, the door closing behind him being the utmost reminder of how her feelings will probably never be acknowledged. and that harsh reality left her alone in her bedroom for the entire night and with every toss and turn her mind was on one thing and one thing only. him.

— +ੈ✩‧₊˚

1K notes · View notes

plumipal · 1 year ago

Note

I just had a thought- how would Grim and the ramshackle ghosts feel about all the stuff happening to us?

Especially if the yandere(s) are coming over to our dorm too! Would they, depending on the severity of the yandere and their specific actions, range from supporting it cuz yknow reader gets to be happy with someone who treats them well and loves them to concerned because sweetie please get yourself outta there 😭

I can imagine Grim is NOT alright with it and for a multitude of reasons, they are taking away your time with HIM, and once he pays more attention to the bigger picture? Yeah messed up things be occasionally happening that could very well hurt you!! He does not like that!!!

im just imagining Grim being visibly not alright and reader will not have it either when it comes to him, they are a PACKAGE deal and that is that no matter which yandere comes their way 🗣️

we have many people more alright with Grim being reader’s number one priority, or yknow silently(?) wishing it was them, poor Grim and Reader man encountering yandere after yandere 😭

Grim would give us a look if we expressed any sort of romantic interest in any yandere I think lol

‘Pologies if it was too long or ranty, though I am curious who you think would be the most and least alright with this? I imagine Leona and Ace (legally required to bring up Ace he’s my all time fav next to Grim) would NOT like it lmao

.. first off, this is the longest ask ive ever gotten, I gotta just say oml thank you so much????? You, wrote all of this, fpr me?? 🥹🥹🥹💖💖💖 this literally made my week thank you so much bestie 🥹😭 second off, this inspired me to rant too, I hope you enjoy!- (not proofread btw)

So im mainly gonna focus on grim, no offence to ramshackle ghost fans, I just really like the silly little fire-cat/rat/weasel/creature. He was literally our first friend, our first companion (I bet Ace and grim bicker on who was your first).

And oh boy, guy is NOT HAPPY when he sees all these dumbasses vying for your attention and either trying to butter him up with tuna (which will not work on the mighty grim!) or ugnore him completely! Like you stated you and him are a package deal! Get the prefect and get their silly hungry companion!!

Now, grim surely uses his position as your closest companion as a safety net, they can't kill off the closest you have to family in this world! Guess they gotta live with him if they wanna have a life with you.

Ace hates that grim was your friend before him, feeling annoyed whenever he bullied (Juice) Deuce about being friends with you before him only for grim to butt in. Ace isn't too annoyed with grim though, and grim thinks that Ace is one of the better choises of the roster you have, they're both friends after all.

Of course most students in the cast don't liek "sharing" you with grim, especially the more territorial ones. Leona is probably the worst, I mean come on they're both feline looking creatures. With scent being a heavy thing for felines (yes even beastmen dont come at me) Leona is not happy to have his scent on you be muddied by the little rodent (the greatest mage of all, grim). Probably the worst choise since they're just gonna bicker to the end of the world..

Floyd doesn't like this either! Not fair that he has to share!! And with grim no less.. Floyd results in biting you instead of scenting, his chompers being good for nibbling on you. He also has the advantage that grim is sorta afraid of him (honestly who wouldn't be? Especially yan Floyd...).

Kalim tries to brime grim, with anything he could ever think off! Unlimited tuna for grim, and the best there is as well!! Nything grim could ever want on a silver platter, only if grim let's kalim marry you! That alone doesn't sound too bad, but that unsettling horrifying servant that follows Kalim around. He knows what jamil can do, and he sure does NOT want you with that dude!- guy is manipulative and creepy (he would definelty seperate you and grim!-)

Malleus... Malleus scares grim, guys is honestly horrifying. Threatening to curse him into an eternal slumber so he can whisk you away from him, he doesn't want that! You would also get sad id malleus did that, so luckily the possessive dragon had to share (for now...)

Whoever you choose, grim would probably disapprove, guy thinks of you as family (he will never admit that tho). He cares about you, and he is not okay with the invasion of privacy from these teenagers! >:(

I know you didn't ask fpr any drawing or such, but I couldn't help myself sorry 🤭 hope you like my ramblings back at you!

#yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere twst art #yandere twisted wonderland art #yandere ace #yandere ace trappola #yandere leona #yandere leona kingscholar #yandere floyd #yandere floyd leech #yandere kalim #yandere kalim al asim #yandere jamil #yandere jamil viper #yandere malleus #yandere malleus draconia #grim being a silly guy #i love grim sm best dude in twst fr

2K notes · View notes

auroreliis · 9 months ago

Note

what if reader had k*lled someone before and the batfam (yandere) dis not know like «I dont need your damn protection» reader said to the batfam «but the world is so dangerous out there and your just a baby» the batfam said to reader « B!TCH I have k*lled someone the f you mean im a baby?!?» the batfam with horrified expresion «WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!»

That last little part is a funny little over dramatic way it might go.

Oh, you are COOKED. (Do pardon my use of brainrot language...)

CW: mentions of murder...obviously

The first thing they do is isolate you in a room and keep you there for a while until they figure out what to do with you (and so you can think about what you've done).

What happens next? Therapy sessions, which they all agreed on.

Don't worry, you will tell them everything, specifically Bruce, since he's the one carrying out the therapy sessions.

"Why did you kill that person?"

"How do you feel about it now?"

"Do you regret it?"

"How do you feel after our conversation?"

He pities the person you ended up killing and feels a little disappointed. A life was taken by you, an innocent person's life. He didn't raise you like this, did he...?

However, he also pities you. Unless you are trained to kill someone, it breaks you. He's seen it so many times, people commiting murders and then panicking, breaking down, because they couldn't live with the consequences of their actions.

You're a mere civilian, how could you ever have been exposed to that kind of environment? How could he let this happen? No, it is his fault for waiting so long before saving you from the world. He will teach you why it's wrong. He will make sure you heal and never take another life again. After all, it is his job as your father to guide you in life.

That's right, the only reason you could've done it is because you didn't know any better. You are a mere child in this old, cruel world, after all.

In the end, he holds himself accountable. He should've done better. He should've protected you better from the cruel world you live in.

Dick would be shocked. His little birdie, his angel, killed someone? Impossible. You're so innocent, like a baby, so how could this be true? He would take some time off to come to terms with the fact that you're not the kind of person he expected. When he comes back, after a week, he seems slightly distant.

With time, following your therapy sessions, he will return to his normal, clingy, annoying self. However, you can't help but wonder why he was acting so weird that one week.

Despite the fact that he also kills people, Jason is incredibly suprised and disappointed after hearing that you killed someone. Unlike everyone else, he feels anger. You're so young, so innocent, you grew up in a place where murdering someone was not necessary, so why would you do it? He doesn't kill people because he wants to, he only does it because he needs to. But you didn't need to do it.

That's what upsets him most. You chose to do it. You willingly took a life.

Despite being so hurt, so broken, he still feels an ounce hesitation when killing people, so how come you, someone who didn't go through what he did, could kill someone in a situation that wasn't even self-defense? Nothing could possibly justify it! And here you are, proudly announcing it to them. You should be ashamed.

He kills murderers, so what should he do with you? Does that make you as bad as the criminals he kills? God, he doesn't even want to think about it.

Jason won't get over it for at least a month. He'll be very distant around you and won't be seen smiling for a long time. Towards you exclusively, his behaviour becomes incredibly bitter. In fact, he's the one who most strongly encourages Bruce to carry out the long, grueling therapy sessions. He really thinks it'll do you good...

Tim's reaction would be more mild than expected. He would certainly feel uncomfortable with the fact that you seemingly feel not an ounce of guilt or regret. However, he wouldn't change his behaviour too much for too long.

During the first week, he'd be a bit more careful with his affection towards you. No, it's not because he's scared. He simply wants to observe you and see how effective the therapy sessions are. If he feels that your attitude towards murder hasn't changed, he would encourage Bruce to be more intense during the therapy sessions.

He would be more careful with the activities he offers you, since Bruce called a meeting with everyone to establish more rules, those being directed at Tim mostly. Tim's "cool, lenient older brother"-act needs to change.

From now on, no crime films or shows (especially not any violent ones), no crime documentaries, no crime or detective books, no vular language, no threats towards anyone or anything and for at least 14 months, no leaving the manor.

This change will probably be permanent.

815 notes · View notes

mylovesstuffs · 1 month ago

Text

OT13 reconciliation after accusing them

Request: OT13 reacting to their s/o wrongly accusing them reacting to their s/o wrongly accusing them was soooooo good...Authorrrrr, if possible a spin off where they reconcile plssss💝

A/N: Ah tysm for letting me think about them a little more bahah, I'm glad that part interested you to see more of what happened afterwards. Also, this was written while my friend was cutting onions and my eyes were extremely wet and I couldn't see at all.

Seungcheol: He lets you cry in front of him, his arms still crossed. “I didn’t need an apology,” he says, looking down at you. “I needed you to trust me.” But when you say that you want to start over with trust this time, he nods slowly, thinking about it. The relationship needs to be worked on but for now, he pulls you into his arms. “Let’s go on that trip.”

Jeonghan: You leave small gifts, texts, a hand-written note with “I never should’ve doubted you”. When he finally meets you again after a week(s), his eyes are unreadable to you. You don't know if it's the end of the relationship, or that he's here to pick and point at every little thing you misunderstood about him. Questioning his loyalty is definitely something. The first thing he said, “You still think I’m capable of that?” This time you stay silent, your lips trembling and when you tearfully whisper, “No. I just got scared,” he exhales and hugs you tightly. “You better not forget next time.”

Joshua: He plays your voice memo again and again, gaining the right mental state to face you directly. He felt bad for raising his voice at you, he's better than that. But you mistaking calmness for indifference really hurt him especially since he cares about you sm. When you finally meet in person, you both end up crying. “I never wanted to raise my voice,” he says, wiping your tears. “Im sorry for misunderstanding you... I just... needed you to hear me.” You wrap your arms around him tightly, nodding. “This time… I’ll listen better,” he says cradling your wet cheek.

Jun: When he sees you in front of his door, holding the lunch he never gave you, he says, “why now?” looking straight into your eyes but it's not warm anymore but replaced with ice. You whisper, “Because I forgot how much you love me.” He doesn't say anything, except for looking at you, maybe trying to read and understand how much you mean this right now because last time, you meant every word of the accusation. He recalls himself feeling like the villain and still waiting for you alone, not knowing where you are or when you will be back. He finally steps forward, rests his forehead against yours, and says, “Don’t walk away again. I’ll forgive you, but don’t do that again.”

Hoshi: You waited just like he asked. You waited for him for weeks and gave him the space he needed. You love him and you know he loves you back, but you did wound his hurt with that accusation when all he ever thought about was only you. So, when you hand him the same letter he once wrote—this time written by you, he reads it and you find his eyes tearing up. “I didn’t think you’d really wait,” he says. You take his hand. “I would’ve waited forever for you, like you'd for me.” You both spend some time in silence as he just stares, you add, “Im sorry,” and he presses a kiss to your forehead.

Wonwoo: You left notes, apologies folded between the pages of the books. One day after days of silence, he texts: “Come over.” You find him holding the book you gave him, your note tucked inside. “I still want forever,” you whisper. He looks at you, long and takes a deep breath. “Then let’s start again.” It'll now take again to build what you two had, not that his trust and dream was broken but he wants to make sure, you have trust in him and dream about him, too. It's just sentiments coming out of you, so things need to be sorted out and start over. Things have never been about him in the relationship; always you—because that's what he wants. You are his dream and forever person as long as you reciprocate.

Woozi: You didn't find him at his place last time, but you did see him around a couple of times but never alone. Guilt was eating you out for not being able to talk and knowing that he actually protected you. You find him at the studio, headphones on, but he sees you instantly. “Did you bring more accusations?” he asks coldly. “No,” you whisper. “Just the truth. I love you, and I’m sorry.” He sighs, pulls off his headphones, and after a beat, says softly, “I just didn’t want you hurt. That’s all I ever wanted.”

Dokyeom: Dokyeom never in his life thought you'll actually misunderstand that. How could you? The only person he ever had his eyes on was you and that was obvious to everyone even for 17 miles away. You knock, voice trembling. “I didn’t mean it.” He finally opens the door, tear streaks still on his face. “Then say what you did mean.” You cup his face. “That you’re the kindest, most loving person I’ve ever met. And I hate myself for hurting you.” He pulls you in. “Please don’t do that again.”

Mingyu: [not really much to say since they reconciled in the first part]. He says while hugging you, “I felt like I wasn’t good enough. And then you made me believe it.” You hug him tighter, crying. “You’re more than enough. You’re everything.” He sighs, kissing your head. “Then make me believe it this time.”

Minghao: He shows up holding your Mandarin letter, “you tried. I see that.” You look up at him, afraid. “Did I lose you?” You expect a, ‘yes,’ from because what else could you look for? You proved that you don't know him, that you made him feel like he had to change himself for you. So he hesitates. “No. But I need you to accept who I am, not who you want me to be.” He doesn't want to sugarcoat. If a relationship has to be healthy, it needs to be honest too. You nod, tearful. “I’m learning. Please don’t leave while I do.” “Never,” is his response as he opens his arms.

Seungkwan: Seungkwan repeated your stinging words every night, praying that it was all a bad dream and that you actually didn't say something so hurtful to him, but it all came crashing down because it was reality. You wait outside his place, holding his journal close to your heart. When he sees you, you hold it out like an offering. “You try so hard, and I didn’t see it. But I do now.” He stares at you, torn. “Do you really?” “Yes. Please let me try for you now.” He finally nods. “Then don’t stop.” “Never will... I'm sorry. I love you.”

Vernon: You show up, breathless. “I saw your message. I’m here.” He looks at you, unsure. “Why should I believe you won’t do that again?” You grab his hand. “Because I learned I can’t love you properly if I don’t trust you. And I don’t want to love you wrong ever again.” He squeezes your hand back, hesitantly. Vernon wants to forgive you, but he’s still hurting. You accused him of cheating based on something superficial [that earring], without giving him the benefit of the doubt. That shook his sense of trust and made him question if you truly saw him for who he is: loyal, and private, he is still reaching back because he loves you. That’s him giving you a chance, even tho he's scared of being hurt again.

Dino: [He kinda reconciled in the first part but he told her to prove, so continuing from there.] You step closer. “Okay,” you say. “I’ll wait until you’re ready to talk. I’ll support you without asking for anything. I’ll stop belittling your feelings, you’ve always been more mature than I gave you credit for.” He doesn’t say anything, so you don’t push. For the next few days, you don’t beg or over-apologize; you just show up consistently, the way he always did for you. One night, after practice, he finds you still sitting in the hallway outside the studio. He sighs, then sits beside you. “Tgank you” You shook your head. “Because you matter, and I was wrong.” He then says softly, “I wanted you to believe in me. Like I believe in us.” You turn your head toward him. “I do now.” Now when he reaches out to hold your hand, there’s no hesitation.

199 notes · View notes

shyxcherry · 1 month ago

Text

a little jealousy | keeho

summary: after having your heart broken by your ex fwb that you caught feelings for, your best friend convinces you to venture out and date again. too bad your ex fwb wont let you.

pairing: keeho x reader

genre/warning: fwb to lovers, fluff, smut (oral (female receiving), handjob, p in v, unprotected sex, lots of dirty talk from keeho), a little bit of angst if you squint, reader has social anxiety and has a panic attack, keeho is a little bit of an asshole in the beginning, he also calls reader baby a lot, drinking and partying, one stupid drunk guy

word count: 6.8k

note: my first p1harmony fic! with my bias of course. i also tried something new and added texts in with the story, and i kind of like it.

"come on (y/n). it'll be fun."

you look over at your room mate yunjin as she prances around your shared living room. she had just gotten back from her shift at the cafe on campus where she found out that there was a party on friday and she wanted to go. she was trying to convince you to go, but so far she hadn't had any luck.

it wasn't that you didn't like to party. being friends with yunjin, you found yourself going to more parties than you ever thought possible. you were just having issues doing anything social as of late, specifically partying. especially since partying is what got you into your mess.

"about as fun as me slamming my head into a wall."

"babe. as your best friend, i mean this with the most respect, you need to get over keeho."

you glare at her as she mentions his name. yoon keeho. your good friend turned fwb. it happened at a party three months ago. the two of you got too drunk and slept together. except instead of pretending it never happened, you two instead decided to keep it going. without the relationship that is.

it was keeho's idea. no strings attached. no feelings. which exactly what you thought you needed. that was until the lines became a little too blurred for you. you stopped seeing him as your friend. obviously he didn't feel the same way when you told him this, which you completely expected. but it hurt you all the same. and here you were two weeks later wishing the last three months never happened.

"im working on it." you snap, throwing your phone next to you and ignoring the message that came from mark.

yunjin was the one who convinced you to start talking with him. he was sweet and treated you well enough. even when you said you weren't looking for anything relationship wise at the moment. the only problem is he wasn't keeho. you wanted to slap yourself for thinking that.

"i know, babes." she sits next to you on the couch. "i think this may help though."

"you said that theo is throwing it." you deadpan. he was one of keeho's best friends.

"and what better way to prove that you've moved on then by going to his party." she told you. "you could also invite mark."

you met her gaze before letting out a sigh. you knew that she had a point. you needed to get over him because you know that he isn't interested in dating. he's only told you that a million times. it was your fault you didn't listen.

"fine." you jump when yunjin screams in excitement. "but you're buying me food after."

"deal."

"are you sure mark doesn't mind me riding with you two?"

you roll your eyes as you finish applying you lip gloss. you shove it into the pocket because your too lazy to carry a bag before turning to yunjin. she was laying on your bed scrolling through her phone. she had already finished getting ready and was just waiting on you.

"jin, he's the one that offered you a ride. of course he's okay with it."

before she could respond to you, your phone dinged from the night stand. you reach over and grab it to reveal a message from mark.

"he's downstairs."

you do one last once over of yourself before you head out of your room. yunjin locked the apartment before you two headed downstairs.

"i can't wait to see that asshole's reaction to you. maybe he'll realize what an idiot he is."

you look down at your outfit. you were wearing a short jean skirt along with a black tube top that exposed your stomach. you also had a gold body chain across your stomach. yunjin picked out the outfit- not that you minded. you were just scared you were showing too much skin.

"it's not to much, is it?"

"it's just enough." she answered immediately. "you look so good. you're lucky i don't swing the other way."

"shut up." you laugh as you two exit the building. you notice mark standing next to his car. you walk up first, smiling in greeting.

"ladies." he greets with a smile. "you chariot awaits."

yunjin gets in the back seat once she's close enough. you make your way to mark who was in front of the passenger's side. you tried not to stiffen when he pulled you into a friendly hug.

"you look amazing." mark tells you as you pull away.

"thank you. you do as well."

mark opens the door, allowing you to get into the car. the three of you chat as he drives you guys to the party at theo's place. well, it was more like his parent's place that theo uses for parties when they're not renting it out.

by the time you got there, the party was in full swing. cars lined the street as music came from the house. you got out of the car right as yunjin walked over to you.

"im going to split up so you can have fun with mark." she wiggled her eyebrows at you. "text me if you need me."

mark moved next to your side as yunjin disappeared into the crowd. he did tell you that his friends were here as well, so he lead you that direction. of course stopping to get the two of you drinks first. you found his friends in the living room sitting on the couches. mark introduced you to them as you sat next to him. he didn't waste any time throwing his arm around your shoulder.

you listened to them talk, inputting when you wanted to. they were all nice enough, but your thoughts drifted to keeho's friends. you had gotten used to hanging around them, and these guys didn't feel the same. but you doubt that any of his friends wanted to hang out with you anymore now that you and keeho weren't on talking terms.

you felt you phone buzz in your pocket causing you to shift in your seat. you pull out your phone thinking that yunjin was messaging you but to your surprise it wasn't her. it was in fact someone you never thought you would message again.

we'll see about that? what the hell was that supposed to mean. you look around, trying to see if you could find keeho or any of his friends. you frown when you didn't see anyone.

you also couldn't understand why he was messaging you about that. he was the one who ended things, not you. so why he was messaging you was a complete mystery.

you roll your eyes, choosing to not let it bother you. you put your phone back in your pocket before turning back to the conversation. that was until you noticed that your drink was empty. you told mark you were going to fix you another one.

you pushed past the many bodies as you make your way to the kitchen. thankfully, its not as busy as the rest of the house. you fix your drink before taking a breath of relief. even after all of these parties, you still never got used to them. you started out fine, but eventually your anxiety would start messing with you. normally, you would have yunjin, or keeho, to help you. but you didn't know where yunjin was, and you weren't talking to keeho.

all of a sudden, an arm wrapped around you- effectively scaring you. you jumped before turning, meeting a pair of warm brown eyes. the eyes of the man you were trying, and failing, to forget.

"miss me?"

"get off of me." you shrug his arm off before stepping away from him. you took a quick second to look him over, and god if he didn't look even better than he did the last time you saw him. he also wore the same smirk that he almost always had when he was with you.

"don't be like that, baby." you glare at the sweet tone of his voice.

"don't be like what?" you questioned. "i'm just following your request. what was it? oh right. stay away from you."

you watch as keeho too a deep sigh, and if you didn't know any better, you saw regret sweep past his emotions. but before he could say anything, someone calling your name got your attention. you turn to see mark making his way towards you, saving you from having to deal with keeho any longer.

you turned away as mark greeted keeho, so you missed the clench of keeho's jaw when mark's eyes were off of him. or the way that his eyes tracked mark's every movement, especially when mark got close to you. you only turned back when mark stood next to you, his hand on you lower back as he bent down to speak to you.

"yunjin was looking for you. she wanted to see if you were ready to go."

you nodded, turning away without giving keeho a second glance. "let's go. i'm hungry anyway."

you let out a tired sigh, pushing your hair back behind your ears as you continued to stock the shelves of the grocery store you work at. you made sure your headphone was hidden, the low music soothing you as you did your job.

you pass a glance at your phone, seeing that your shift was almost over. only thirty more minutes. you bend back down to grab more product when you heard someone walk up behind you.

you stiffened, knowing it was probably a customer looking for something. you turned with a small smile, but quickly dropped it when you found keeho standing in front of you. it had been nearly two weeks since you last talked to him.

"what the hell do you want?"

keeho's jaw dropped in mock shock. "now, that isn't any way to talk to a paying customer."

"paying customer, my ass." you scoff before turning back to your work. you thought he would leave since you were clearly ignoring him, but he continued to stand there. you let out a huff of air as you turned back towards him. "can i help you? or are you just trying to make me smack you with a can of peas?"

"you still get off in thirty minutes?" keeho asked.

"what's it to you?" you ask, hating that he still had your schedule memorized.

keeho turned before starting to walk away. you thought he was going to ignore your question, but he looked back over his shoulder with a smile. "i'll see you when you get off."

you roll your eyes as you watched his retreating figure before going back to work. for someone who told you to leave him alone, he sure did a shit job with following that.

you finished unpacking the box you were working on before going to clock out. you go over to your locker, opening it and throwing in your badge before putting on your hoodie. you grab your bag, slinging it over your shoulders before leaving the break room.

you nodded your head to some of the workers as you left. you didn't see any sign of keeho, so you assumed he left. that was until he showed up right in front of you, nearly making you run into him.

"are you hungry?" he asked, looking down at you.

"no." you lied. keeho scoffed at your answer.

"liar." he accused. "i know you don't eat before your shifts because coming makes you nervous, and it makes you sick if you eat before."

you stood there for a moment just staring at him. you didn't understand how he knew all of these things about you. it's not like you ever told him, or anyone else for that matter, what he just told you.

"come on." he grabbed your hand, pulling you to walk next to him. "there's this really good food truck a few blocks from here. they have great tacos."

you were quiet, allowing him to pull you along with him. you don't know why you were entertaining him. maybe you just enjoyed hurting yourself making yourself spend time with someone your completely in love with- someone who also doesn't want you.

once the two of you got to the small park, keeho led you to the sitting area. he made you sit down before he went to get you two some food. he didn't even ask what you wanted, and you had the feeling that was because he knew exactly what you wanted.

you feel your phone buzz in your pocket. you pull it out to see a text from yunjin.

you put your phone down when you heard keeho walk up to you. he set down two sets of boxes along with some drinks. you quietly thanked him as the two of you started to eat. and of course, he got you exactly what you would've gotten yourself.

"so, not that i'm complaining, because i absolutely am." keeho chuckled at your words. "but why am i here?"

"i can't come and check on you?" he asked.

you swallowed your food before looking at him. "you already know the answer to that."

"i'm not going to lie." keeho started. "i acted like an asshole."

"at least you're a self aware asshole."

"i shouldn't have acted like that. i know an apology doesn't mean much to you, but i am sorry. and i would like to try to make it up to you." you finally met keeho's gaze. you saw the regret that you saw at the party, but this time it didn't go away.

"how do you plan on making it up to me?" you ask.

"by being the best damn friend you ever had." he answered. you felt your heart drop at his answer, but you tried to not let it affect you. the quicker you learned that he doesn't feel the same, the better. "by the time i'm done, you'll be begging me to be your best friend instead of yunjin."

"i'm gonna tell her you said that."

"please don't." for the first time, you laugh at him. he held out his hand for you to shake. "so, what do you say? friends?"

you look at him for a moment before shrugging. you shake his hands. "friends, but i'm not going to make it easy. i'm hard to please."

"i won't let you down. not again."

the next time you saw keeho was at another party later that week, except it was him who brought you this time. this was only after him begging you for the past few days. the two of you started texting again, and as much as you hated to admit, you missed messaging him. before he was you fwb, he was a good friend to you over the past year. you missed his silly texts at weird hours.

currently, you along with keeho, yunjin, and theo were in the kitchen. you were perched on the counter, drink in hand while you and keeho watch yunjin and theo argue about which horror movie is the best.

"everyone knows that the exorcist is a classic." yunjin argues, slinging her arm causing alcohol to sling out of her cup.

"it's a shitty classic is what it is." theo tells her which causes her to let out a loud gasp. you let out a chuckle as you take a sip of your drink. keeho moves over, draping his arm over your legs so they weren't as exposed.

suddenly, yunjin turns her attention to the two of you. "what do you two think?"

"my favorite is nightmare on elm street." you answer first.

"of course you think a killer with kitchen knives and a christmas sweater is good." keeho spoke up. "you have horrible taste in movies."

"i do not." you argue, pushing him away from you. that didn't last long as keeho moved back to the same position he was before. "its fucking better than friday the 13th."

"apologize to me. right now." you laughed at his behavior.

you quickly turn back to yunjin and theo as they continued their argument. you met yujnin's gaze for a moment. you gave her a small nod, not forgetting your previous conversation.

she expressed a couple of times how worried she was that you were back to being his friend knowing that you still had feelings for him. you understood where she was coming from, but you still reassured her that you would be okay. that was until she asked you one question that you didn't answer. if he said he had feelings for you, would you choose to be with him.

you didn't need to answer her because the both of you already knew the answer- yes.

you shifted your weight, moving away from keeho before jumping off the counter. "i have to use the bathroom."

once keeho gave you a nod, he took your drink before you left the group. you made your way upstairs to where theo's locked room was. all of you knew the code, so you all could use his bathroom which was a lot cleaner than the one downstairs. you had just turned the corner when you ran into someone.

"i'm sorry." you apologize, looking over the man you didn't know. you figured he was a student and moved to go around him, but he moved to block you from moving down the hallway.

"what's a pretty little thing like yourself doing all alone?" you rolled your eyes at the stupid question.

"ignoring idiots like you. now move." you were able to move around him, but he moved to grab your wrist.

you turned to look at him with a look of anger. anger that was quickly turning into fear. there wasn't anyone around you on the second floor, and this guy was easily twice your weight. you knew he was probably harmless. just a drunk guy wanting to have some fun. but your mind kept going to the worst possible scenario like it normally does is causing you to panic.

"let me go."

"what's in it for me?" he asked with a smile. you opened your mouth to answer him, but your voice got caught in your throat. instead you tried to pull away from him again, but his grip tightened. "don't be like that."

you felt yourself panic even more. you didn't know what to do. you couldn't scream. no one would hear you with the music blasting from downstairs. you felt trapped. that was before your wrist was snatched away from his grip.

you watch in shock as keeho pushed the guy up against the wall. "do we have a problem here?"

"n-no." the guy stuttered, blinking quickly as he sobered up. "we were just talking."

keeho met your gaze. tears threatened to fall as your breathing sped up. he could tell that you were moments away from having a panic attack. he looked back to the guy.

"don't ever go near my girl again."

"okay. i'm sorry." keeho let him go, watching as he stumbled away before he turned back to you.

he immediately pulled you into his arms as he led you towards theo's room. he helped you sit down on the bed before he knelt in front of you. he had helped you through a couple of these, so he was familiar with helping you.

he gently grabbed your face, causing you to meet his gaze. he spoke slow and clearly, so you could understand him. "you're okay. nothing's going to happen to you now that i'm hear, okay?"

you let out a choked sob as you nodded. you burried your head in his neck as he pulled you into his arms. his hand running soothing circles as he tried to calm you down.

"i'm sorry."

"don't apologize, baby." he whispered. "i'm hear for you. i'm not going anywhere."

you don't know how long the two of you were like that, but once you calmed down mostly, you realized the position keeho was in. "you can't be comfortable like this."

"all i care about is your comfort." he answered.

you blushed at his comment before you pulled away from him. you wipe at your face as you avoid eye contact with him. that felt different than the other times he help you. normally, he would just sit next to you, rubbing your back. but this time, he held you. he's never done that, and you didn't know how you felt about that. it also didn't help that the air between the two of you felt different- heavier.

keeho stood up, going to the bathroom to get you some water. he sat next to you as you drank the entire glass. he waited until you were done before talking to you. "are you okay?"

you nod your head, not trusting your voice. you were still shaking, but it was starting to go away. all that was left was embarrassment and exhaustion.

"do you want me to take you home?"

"please."

he pulled out his phone, sending a quick text to yunjin before standing up. he helped you up, holding you as you were a little unsteady. that was when he bent down, allowing you to jump on his back, so he could carry you out of the house. you did as he said, jumping onto his back and hiding your face in his shoulder.

he carried you out of the house and to his car. he helped you in, even going as far as buckling your seatbelt before getting into the driver's side. the two of you drove to your place in a peaceful quiet, the only noise was the radio softly playing.

once he parked, you moved to get out of the car, but keeho stopped you. he walked over to your side, placing his arms under your knees and behind your back before lifting you up. you quickly wrapped your arms around his neck, trying to ignore the blush climbing up your neck.

"kee, i'm okay to walk."

"i know you are." he told you. "but i'm still going to take care of you."

he carried you up to your apartment, taking the key from you and unlocking the door. he walked you to your room, skipping the bed and bringing you to the bathroom. he sat you down on the counter before standing in front of you.

"take off your makeup while i get you some clothes, okay." you nodded your head, watching as he walked off before getting off of the counter.

while you wiped off your makeup, you tried to wrap your head around what all of this meant. you didn't understand what keeho was trying to do. he's never done this before, even when you were fwb. you just hoped that he was doing this because he wanted to, and because he felt like he had to.

keeho stuck his head in silently, handing you the clothes before leaving you again. not bothering to shut the door, you quickly changed into the small shorts and oversized shirt before stepping out of the bathroom.

keeho wasn't in your room, but you could hear him in the kitchen, so you knew he was still here. you pulled back the covers of you bed before slipping in. it wasn't long before keeho came back in your room with a glass of water and your medication that you take for your anxiety.

"thank you for doing this." you mumbled as you took your medication.

"you don't have to thank me." he told you, running his hand through your hair. "is there anything else you need?"

"can you stay the night?" you ask before you could think about it, but before you could take it back, he nodded his head.

"of course."

he got off the bed, pressing a kiss to your forehead before moving over to your closet where he knew you still had some of his clothes. you laid down, turning your back while he got changed. the light turned off before he moved to lay next to you.

and just like every other time he's spent the night, his arm wrapped around you before pulling you into him. your back pressed against his front as his leg was tucked between yours. his face is pressed against your neck as his arm moves up, resting his hand on your chest.

"why do you do that?" you ask quietly.

"do what baby?"

"your arm." you clarify. "why do you put it there?"

keeho was quiet for a moment, leading you to think he wouldn't answer, but his answer came a moment later. "so i can feel your heartbeat and make sure you don't have a panic attack."

you felt all air leave your lungs at his answer. the man clinging to you continues to confuse you the more the night goes on. you couldn't help the next statement that came out of your mouth. "and you say you don't have feelings for me."

"i lied about that." you open your eyes at his confession.

"i'm sorry- what?"

"i was scared." he admitted, holding you tighter in his arms, so you couldn't turn to look at him. "you know me. i don't commit. i never have. i thought when i set up the rules, everything would be fine. and then came the moments like this, where you slept in my arms, and i could imagine you never leaving. i felt on edge when you weren't with me because what if you had a panic attack, and i wasn't around to help you. i found myself falling for you, and it scared the hell out of me. so i pushed you away and ran."

you kept quiet with your thoughts as his words sank in. you never thought that he was running from his feelings, just that he didn't have any towards you romantically. all of the things you two did while you were fwb, you thought were normal. all of the things you questioned while you were together finally made sense.

"so, yunjin was right." you mumbled. "you were jealous at that party, weren't you?"

keeho huffed. "of course i was. i was scared that he was going to take you away from me. and that fear turned into jealousy and me trying to run mark off."

you finally shifted, turning to lay on your other side, so you could finally look at him. it was dark, but you could still see part of his face. that part that was very clearly blushing. "is that why he ghosted me? i saw him the other day, and he practically ran in the opposite direction."

"maybe." he answered you making you laugh.

"you are such an ass, you know that?"

"didn't stop you for falling for me though, did it." you roll your eyes at his answer. you almost didn't answer him.

"no it didn't. though i'm still mad you lied to me."

he moved closer to you. close enough to where you could feel his breath as he cupped your face in his hand. "i'm sorry baby. i know i'm an idiot and don't deserve a second chance, but i am asking for one."

you staying quiet for a minute. you wanted to make him wait, just like he did to you. you didn't need to think about it. you knew what you wanted, and it was him.

instead of answering him, you moved forward, pressing your lips to his. he froze for a moment before responding, pulling you closer to him. this kiss was different than the other ones you two shared. it was full of the emotions that the two of you tried to hide.

"please tell me that's a yes." keeho pleaded as he pulled away from you.

you nodded your head, lips brushing against his. "you better not fuck it up this time."

"never." he promised, kissing you once again. this one was more laid back than the first one. his hand was running along your thigh that was now draped over him. your hands gripping his shirt as your lips lazily moved with his.

keeho's hand trailed higher up your leg, brushing against your shorts before gripping your waist and pulling you closer to him. with you now flush against him, you could feel his hardened erection brush against your thigh. keeho moved away from your lips, trailing kisses down your neck.

"i've missed this. missed you." you heard him mumble as he continued to kiss your neck. "i missed you laugh. your smile. the way i could be myself around you without any judgement. but do you know what i missed the most?"

"what?" you asked, brushing the hair that fell in his face away. you met his eyes as he pulled back to look at you. you didn't fail to notice the smile on his face.

"the sounds you make when i touch you."

to prove his point, he moved forward, biting your neck where it met your shoulder. not hard enough to hurt but enough to shock you. you let out a gasp as shifted, pushing you on your back before he settled between your legs. his lips stayed attached to your neck, no doubt leaving a dark bruise. you shifted your hips as you wrap your legs around his waist, causing you to grind against him. he bit you harder making you moan in response.

"see?" he asked with a chuckle as he pulled away to look at you with dark eyes. "my baby is so responsive to me. i wonder how loud you'll get for me tonight."

he pulled away from you. his hands next to your hips on the bed while he shifted down your body. his hands toyed with the edge of your shirt before pulling it up, revealing your stomach to him. he bent down, kissing along your stomach as he made his way tortiously slow towards your chest.

"tell me baby. did you miss my touch as well?"

you lifted your head to look at him. his chin rested on your stomach as he awaited your response. "i missed everything, kee."

you thought that keeho would continue to kiss up your body, but he didn't. instead, he moved up and kissed your lips. his hands cupped your cheeks as he kissed you like his life depended on it.

"i'm going to make up for everything. i promise." he whispered as he pulled away.

he tugged on your shirt causing you to sit up. his lips found yours as soon as he took off your shirt. his hands ghosted up your sides until they reached your breast. you let out a gasp into the kiss as he squeezed your breast. you felt him smile as he pulled away from you.

he shifted back down to where he was at your chest. he started out kissing and marking your chest before he placed one of your nipples in his mouth. your hands went to the back of his neck as he sucked on your nipple. his other hand sought out the other one, making you hiss as he twisted it.

"my sweet girl." he mumbled as he moved to your other breast.

as he attacked your chest, you failed to notice his other hand moving down your body. it wasn't until his hand slipping through the front of your shorts that you noticed. his fingers teased your clit making you whine in impatience. you heard him chuckle, but he did give you what you wanted. he pressed down on you clit making you sigh in relief.

that relief was short lived once he pulled away from your breast. he removed his hand from your shorts before tapping your hips. "lift your hips for me."

you did as he said, lifting your hips so he could slide the rest of your clothes off, leaving you completely bare under him. you didn't find it fair that he was still fully clothed, so you opened your mouth to say something when keeho took his shirt of, somehow know what you wanted.

once his shirt was off, he continued to make his way down your body. a brief thought occurred when he kept marking you was that you were going to be completely covered tomorrow in bruises. that thought flew out of your head once he placed a kiss right above where you wanted him most.

"do you know how many times over the past few weeks i thought about this?" keeho questioned as his fingers trailed up your thighs.

"probably just as much as i've thought about it." you answer. keeho smiled at your answer since he knows that you missed him just as much as he missed you. and as much as he loved to tease you, he couldn't handle doing that tonight.

he gave your thigh a squeeze before he licked a long strip up your heat, making you jump. he placed a kiss on your clit before wrapping his lips around it, sucking harshly. you let out a moan at the action, rolling your hips up before he placed his palm on your stomach and holding you down.

you felt his finger tease your entrance causing you let out a whine. he chuckled at you before sliding his finger in. he quickly added a second as he started pumping them, curling them every so often while he watched you unravel. you had your eyes shut as you lost yourself in his touch. one hand was gripping the sheets beneath you while the other one was tangled in his hair.

"fuck keeho." you cursed as he added a third finger.

"you taste so good baby." he praised as his hand increased in speed. he was rewarded by his name coming out of your mouth in a sweet moan. "and all mine. isn't that right?"

"a-all yours." you stuttered, crying out when his lips reattached to your clit. you felt the familiar feeling of your orgasm in your stomach. keeho could also tell too since your sounds were getting louder.

"are you close, my baby?" he questioned tauntingly. "are you going to make a mess all over my fingers like a good girl? and let everyone know who's making you feel this good?"

he was answered by a loud moan coming from you as your orgasm washed over you. his fingers slowed down, but keep moving as you rode out your orgasm. keeho kept his eye on you, watching you closely as you tried to catch your breath.

he slowly removed his fingers before sticking them in his mouth, sucking them clean. your eyes met his as you watched him just as intently as he was watching you. once he was done, he crawled back up your body. as soon as he was close enough, your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling his lips to yours. he groaned into the kiss as his bare chest pressed against yours. his tongue slide past your lips, brushing against yours.

your hands moved from the back of his neck before trailing down his body, loving the feeling of his body beneath your fingertips. he stuttered as you hand cupped his erection over his sweats before squeezing. you didn't waste any time slipping your hand into them and wrapped your hand around him.

his lips broke from yours as you stroked him. his head fell to your shoulder, and you took the opportunity to give him a matching bruise on his neck like he did to you. he let out a groan as you squeezed him again as you other hand wrapped around to his back, pulling him closer to you as you continued your assault on his neck.

"fuck baby." keeho groaned, grabbing your wrist to stop you before pulling it out of his sweats. "you gotta stop, or i'm going to cum."

"and that's such a bad thing?" you raise your eyebrow at him.

"it is when i have even been inside you yet." he argues, pouting when you laugh at him. it was your turn to grab his cheeks. you pulled him into a kiss that caused him to almost melt into you. you tugged on the hem of his sweats making him pull away from you.

"i need you, kee." you whisper against his lips.

"fuck." he cursed, moving to pull down his sweats. "i need you too. are you still on birth control?"

"yes." you answer as he settles back between your legs. he grabs a pillow, placing it under your hips to make it more comfortable for you. your legs wrapped around his waist as he kissed you.

"are you ready?"

you nod. "please."

keeho lined up with your entrance, pushing in slowly. the two of you sigh of relief as he fills you completely. his hips meet yours before he stops, giving you time to adjust to him. he presses his lips all over your face while he compliments you.

"my perfect girl." he coos while he brushes your hair out of your face. "you take me so well, don't you? you fit around me like you were made for me."

you responded with a squeeze to his shoulder, signaling that he could move. he moved his hips, moving almost all the way out before thrusting his hips forward. he starts out slow, teasing you some until you whine for him to speed up.

you let out a moan as his hips snap into yours. "is that what you want baby? for me to let everyone know who this pussy belongs to?"

"yes." you moan as you dig your nails into his back, drawing a groan from him as well. after a particularly harsh thrust, you squeeze around him as you let out another moan.

"my dirty girl." he smiles down at you. "just milking me for everything i have. take it. take it all, baby."

he more he watched you, the closer he felt himself to his climax. he moved his hand down your body to where you were joined before rubbing your oversensitive clit. you let out a loud moan which keeho cut off with his lips. the way you kept squeezing him over and over were driving him mad.

"fuck." you moan when he lets your lips go. "i- i'm close, kee."

"i know baby. i am too."

after a few more thrusts, he watches you fall over the edge again. a sight he will never get tired of. he helped you through your orgasm before he let himself go. his lips met yours as he rode out his orgasm. after a few thrusts, he pulled out of you, nearly collapsing on top of you.

your forehead touched as the two of you caught your breathes. he pulls away first, pressing kiss to your forehead. "you did so good for me. perfect as always."

after he recovered, he pulled away from you before moving to help clean you up and get you dressed again. once you were dressed and comfortable, he did the same before going back to bed. as soon as he laid down, you moved over, laying your head on his chest. his arm draped over your shoulder, moving to play with your hair.

"i think the entire neighboorhood knows who you belongs to now." keeho said before pressing a kiss to the top of your head. you let out an embarrassed laugh as he pinched his side as you mumbled a small 'shut up.'

a knocking at your door had both of you looking over at it. you then heard the muffle voice of yunjn. "that's an understatement. next time you two argue, please make up at your place."

your face reddened as you hid it in keeho's neck. you heard him chuckle before responding. "sorry."

"no you're not." she yelled as you heard her disappear back to her room.

"she's not wrong." you pulled away from his neck to look up at him. "i couldn't help myself though. never can with you."

you roll your eyes before you press a kiss to his jaw. "man, you must love me or something."

"i do." keeho said making you freeze. you met his gaze as he pulled you in closer to him. "you don't have to say it back because i know i don't deserve it yet, but i do love you. and i will keep working and do whatever it takes for you to trust me enough to say it back, okay?"

you nodded your head, appreciative that he wasn't going to make you say it. you knew that you did love him back. but like he said, you were still weary of trusting him because of last time. but he was a man of his word, and you knew he wouldn't stop until you trusted him with every fiber of your being. and you were okay with that.

"okay."

#kpop #kpop reactions #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop fanfic #kpop smut #p1harmony #p1harmony reactions #p1harmony scenarios #p1harmony imagines #p1harmony smut #keeho smut #keeho x reader #yoon keeho #keeho imagines #keeho scenarios #p1h keeho

202 notes · View notes

evilbirdy · 5 months ago

Note

hey there. I was wondering if you Could do se-mi x fem reader Where reader is sick (high fever and bad cough) and she trys to hide it from her but se-mi noticed How you wouldnt let her kiss you and that your body felt really hot. She scolds u for not telling her and she takes Care of you.

thank you and have a Good Day or Night. Im sick from my brother and Girl i need se-mi to take Care of me😭😭

i can’t care about anything but you

now playing ~ lovefool by the cardigans

se-mi x fem!reader

As someone who also sick right now, we all need a fic of Se-Mi taking care of us. I might make this a little “Se-mi taking care of sick! reader” series in the future

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You hated flu season, you have a weak immune system and always ended up getting symptoms if you are around sick people. You were lying in your bedroom right now, buried in a pile of blankets. Your heated is turned on, the windows are closed, your humidifier had a cool, minty scent. Nothing was helping, you had three round of Nyquill already.

A loud cough rang through the room, you cringe as your throat burned. You ached as you got up from the bed. The small journey from your bedroom to your kitchen was difficult, your feet felt so frozen that it hurts with every step, the drowsiness from your medicine made you dizzy.

You grab some leftover soup that your friend Young-sik’s mother dropped off for you. You leaned onto the counter and was about to drift off to sleep until you heard your doorbell ring.

You jumped and looked through the keyhole, your girlfriend; Se-Mi enters your view

Oh fuck

You threw off your blanket, laying it on the couch. You wipe the sweat from your forehead before opening the door.

You let out a soft smile, choking back the cough in your throat. “Hey baby, what are you doing here?” you hum, leaning against the door. She smirks and walk into your apartment. “Why does it feel like a sauna in here?” she took off her jacket, hanging it next the door, “You know it’s about above 20 outside, babe,” she sat at your kitchen table, smelling the air.

“Soup? you barely even eat soup,” she gives a questionably look. You hummed, taking the soup out of the microwave. “Ms. Jang gave it to me, she knows I barely cook and wants to make sure I eat, I feel too guilty by not eating her food,” you sat across from her eating the soup. The soup cooled the scratching sensation in your throat and cleared your nostrils for a second.

She chuckled lowly and gets up to walk over to you. She leaned down and was about to give you a kiss but you back away.

She gives you a small confused look, side-eyeing you. “Ohh umm I was still swallowing the soup, that would have been an awkward kiss,” you tried to laugh it off and quickly ate more soup. Se- mi clicked her tongue before tucking her hand under your chin and lifted your head up. She pressed the back of her hand on your face.

“You’re hot,” she murmured, her hand moving to your face. “Oh thank you,” you tried to laugh but seen her stern face by stopping and looking down. “How long have you been sick?” you sigh, looking back up. “Only for about…a week..,” Se-mi’s eyes widen slightly before picking up and bringing you to bed.

“What made you think it was a good idea to keep this from me, huh? I could have gotten you better earlier,” she tucks you in the bed, grabbing you some medication. She laid it all on your side table and went into the drawer, getting a thermometer.

“I *cough* didn’t want to *cough* *cough* worry you,” You tried to sit up but she urges you to stay lying down. “No no, lay down baby, you don’t have to lift my finger anymore,” she grabs a tissue, wiping the sweat from your forehead. “Ahh *sneeze* aren’t I so lucky, thank you, can you grab my soup,” she nods, going to the kitchen and bringing you your soup. She helps you sit up and place the soup in front of you.

“I don’t want you to get sick baby,” she shakes her head and sits next to you. “I would rather be suffering in this bed with you than be anywhere else right now,” she kisses you lightly on the lips and tucks your hair back.

“Wove you,” your voice gotten all nasally, you violently sniff. “Wove you too,” she laughs, mocking you, she leans in again but you lightly push her back.

#se mi squid game #se-mi x reader #se mi #squid game #squid game x reader #se mi x reader #se-mi #squid game se mi #squidgame x you #se-mi squid game

283 notes · View notes

zorange13 · 6 months ago

Text

— love island, enhypen edition

— enha as islanders x afab reader (maknae line) | hyung line

so grateful for all of the love on the hyung line version. i love all of you and i hope you liked this one just as much. i suffered a bit of writer's block while writing this. but we persevere!!

warnings/content. suggestive content, sigh…i got carried away on like all of these, misunderstanding trope (it’s not that bad i promise), slowburn, i watched to all the boys i’ve loved before and ever after high while writing this (so healing), not much just love island stuff, no casa amor for riki’s tho (don’t hate me, i just didn’t think it was necessary)

not proofread, bro i gotta start doing that omg

word count. 6.3k

inspired by the aot edition written by @rynfiles !!

Jungwon 양정원

not the eldest (duh), he is kinda the dad out of the group

also an og

wins a lot of fans over by his cute, boyish looks (ofc)

and don’t let him smile, omg THE DIMPLES????? yeah.

also another that people go to for advice for

but somehow the girls there don’t go for him because he seems to be too cute

like, he’s one of the younger ones there and most of the girls preferred the older, more experienced guys

the girls took care of him and almost babied him

to which he would never reject the attention of beautiful women!! (duh) but he didn’t want pity

so it kinda balances out in a way

even though he is such a worrywart, he does in fact know how to have fun and enjoys cracking jokes, playing lil innocent pranks, and having lil dance parties

bc it’s not like yall have your phones

anyways

you were not an og so…a bombshell lmao

and needless to say, you had such a huge wall up and didn’t know how to even handle men after your last relationship

you had been cheated on…baddd

and coming on this show was just something that you didn’t think much into but one day you auditioned and never looked back

the producers said something about you would make good tv

so why not?

you came in during week 3!!

at this point, won was coupled up with one of the og girls

but it wasn’t really going anywhere and that was ok!!

you came in, not really expecting much

but the great thing was that you were like the only girl that was jungwon’s age

so immediately his head was turnt

the prods did that dumb thing where they have you go on a date with all of the guys to see which one you like more

basically you sit at a table and the guys just kind of microwave their ways from the table to wherever they came from

but ngl…none of them were your type like

jake…hot asf but eh

sunoo…stunning but he was too cute

heeseung…just no lmao

jay…that’s just the bro ngl

riki…yes!! but oh…he’s too young for your liking

so nothing really stuck

UNTIL!!

mr. yang jungwon sat across from you

he was also very hot and very cute

but still…you couldn’t show your cards yet like

you had to be a lil mysterious

“hi y/n, im jungwon” he stuck his hand out waiting for your handshake, waiting to sit

to which you liked, all the other dudes just sat down and waved or kissed you on the cheek before they sat

none of them bothered you, it was just nice that jungwon wanted your respect first

the date was genuinely fun!!

you didn’t think that you and him would have that much in common

from what you saw before you came in, he was such a dad

he was the type to serve himself last when they made dinner

the type to make sure the girls put on their sunscreen before their makeup

just very considerate and selfless

almost too much at times

because then he’d find that his food would either be cold

or that he wouldn’t get the portion or piece he wanted

or when he wanted the girls to put on their sunblock, he’d forget to put his on

and would have to get aloe from one of their bags

you, however, did not gaf

you didn’t care to step on toes

you didn’t care to hurt feelings or set boundaries bc you’ve spent so long trying to make others in your life feel comfortable

why?? bc why would you watch everyone around you get what they want except for you? no. (real shit)

selfishness isn’t terrible all the time

so after the date with jungwon, you honestly did enjoy his presence

and vice versa for him so you ended up chatting a lot more

and you guys actually ended up bonding over his current need to people please

and where you lied now with that

“idk, i just feel like i should always look out for people. it’s just how i was raised.”

“yeah, that’s great but when do you ever get what you need? you can’t pour from an empty cup, you know?”

he frowned, not from sadness but it more so exhibited thought. “i guess i’ve never thought of it like that. i just like to feel useful…i feel like when everyone is good then so am i.

you smiled faintly, “nothing’s wrong with that at all, won. but if it’s at the expense of your own happiness or skimming your wants and needs, then that’s a problem. i’ve been there.”

“really?” he said, genuinely curious. “what happened?”

now you’re kinda mad you even let yourself get this comfortable with him this fast

but this was a time where you had to let yourself be vulnerable

i mean you did sign up for a dating show like cmon

“well…” you sighed, “my last relationship ended about a year and a half ago, and it was pretty rocky. i just thought i was doing everything right, like i was rearranging my schedule to see him. i used to write down everything that he told me that was worth remembering in case i wanted to surprise him with a gift. i’d even bite my tongue when something upset me because i didn’t want to make him upset. now that i think of it, i felt like i was just trying to shrink myself into this little box of what i felt love was and what he wanted me to be or something. but i equated his love to my worth and then my worth to how useful i was to people.”

he let you express yourself but as you did, he slid his hand across the couch cushion where your hand was. though he hesitated, not knowing if you were comfortable

you saw this and decided to be bold and inch your hand forward as well

his ears perked up at the sensation but before he could get totally flustered he spoke up, “so what made you guys break up?”

you smiled bitterly, “he cheated,”

“that’s awful, i’m so sorry. truly, you didn’t deserve that.” anger, then sadness flickered in his eyes

“i know that now, but the best things that i learned was one: never love a man more than he loves me. then two: selfishness and self-preservation isn’t so bad.”

“this is pretty hard for me to hear, but also i think i needed to hear it”

you scooted a little closer to him, “well, you have a cute girl sitting right here with more than enough selfishness to spare. maybe some of it will rub off on you.”

that had to be one of the most cathartic conversations you’ve both had

but from there, he actually started to do for himself more

he wouldn’t wait for everyone to get their food first

he made sure to put his sunblock on

and now the only other thing that he wanted to worry about now was you

bringing you breakfast, water, making you food when you were hungry in the middle of day, massaging you when you slept funny

in turn, ironically enough you started to do more for the friends you’ve made

you did more favors, said yes but only because you wanted to

you both brought out great things in the each other and it showed

you came in very guarded

but now you were like a butterfly, wearing brighter colors, your natural hair, you didn’t put on as much makeup as before, you laughed more than you have in a long time

all of those things were amazing, putting effort into yourself and looking nice

but you started to feel like your old self and you were gonna embrace for now

you spent more time doing the other girl’s hair and makeup and that was the most fun!!

you and jake’s girl developed a close friendship too!!

when casa came, you also left him a note!!

“ok so i totally left but it’s only for a little bit, i promise!! take care of yourself while i’m out, ok? please promise me, i know i’m not actually there to see you make the promise but i trust you did lmao. don’t miss me too much, or do, because i’ll definitely be missing you. you’re my won and only. love, y/n”

his heart BURST

especially at that last part, so creative it wasn’t like he’s heard that one before

he holds up at casa

still, he’s just being himself

there was one girl in particular that was very into him

she didn’t come on too strong…

i lied i'm sorry she did

but he kept it respectful though!!

you know…arms length

he did genuinely like you and just wasn’t feeling it with the casa girl

he told her, literally right after rejecting her with a smile, “you’re a beautiful girl but my connection is depending on me and i’m doing the same with her. i just wanna make sure i’m doing what’s best for me and her.”

very cut and dry, straight to the point!!

until it wasn’t????

over at the villa, the girls received that godforsaken video of what the boys have been up to

all of the girls were in shock and jaws agape at what they were seeing

when it got to jungwon, all you saw was him and the girl sitting down one of the couches

that wasn’t pleasant to see but whatever

then he sat there, marvelous dimples on display and said, “you’re a beautiful girl, i just wanna make sure i’m doing what’s best for me…”

you were not only, confused but totally shocked

fans hateddd that the prods tried to sabotage like that!!

you’ve made it clear to him what you’ve been through and this was a little more than hurtful

the whole environment was a damn mess like

some of the girls were crying because their guys weren’t acting right, others were confused

the casa boys tried to help and support the girls but like ew get away we don’t know you wtf

when jungwon came back, you tried to give him the benefit of the doubt

but you were just so withdrawn

at the recoupling he didn’t bring anyone back which surprised you

when asked how you felt about it, you didn’t really have an answer

as days passed and you kept looking at jungwon, it was a reminder of the person you were a year and a half ago

he was tired of it and finally sat you down

“you were flirting with her, won”

“what?” his brows furrowed, he looked at you like you just said the most ridiculous thing in the world

“you said something about the girl being beautiful and that you’re gonna do what’s best for you.” rolled your eyes

he shook his head in disbelief, as in he was genuinely confused. “i never said that, wait no. i said that but that wasn’t what i said.”

after grabbing your given phone, seeing as you’re the one who it was sent to (conveniently), you both watched the video and jungwon legit burst out laughing

“ok, so they totally twisted the entire thing. what i said was something along the lines of—”

you cut him off, avoiding his eyes. “don’t lie, bro. if you liked the girl then that’s—”

“i don’t even know her! if i liked her i would’ve brought her back.”

“ok so if that was the case then what about me? what if you did like her then what was i supposed to do?”

“you know that’s not fair…”

you leaned back into the chair and huffed, folding your arms. “what did you say?”

“i said that our connection is strong and i want to do what’s best for me and you. i rejected her, i said i didn’t want her.”

you frowned, “i don’t believe you”

he knew you had trust issues, and understandably so. but with that all he could do was sigh, “i get it, you don’t trust me right now and i don’t blame you. that video was crazy but i swear to you—i never even considered her.”

you stayed quiet, folding your arms

he leaned forward, trying to bridge the gap

“what i said was, ‘i’m trying to do what's best for me and her.’ as in, us.” he gestured between you two

“so why even say that? why was it even twisted?”

“because i wanted to make it clear that i wasn’t wavering.” his tone soft, yet firm. “i wanted het to know she didn’t even have a chance. i was..i was hoping that you’d believe enough in me to see that.”

“it’s not just about believing you, won. it’s about what i saw with my eyes and heard with my ears. and it just reminded me of the shit that i wanted to leave behind.”

he leaned back with a sigh, “i didn’t come back to fight with you. i came back because i chose you. and i will keep choosing you, but you gotta trust me.”

“ok”

“ok?” he reached over to you to pull you in for a hug

but you stopped him before he could, “ok. just don’t let anything like this happen again. seriously.”

he nodded, “i promised and i’m gonna keep myself to it. i’m all in with you, baby and i will always choose you.” and you guys shared a gentle kiss

spoiler alert: he kept his promise!!

final 4!!

your last date was a picnic in a hidden garden, with fairy lights, a starry night, with a beautiful guitarist there to play cute mood music

his final speech: “when i came into this, i was so focused on making everyone happy that i lost sight of what really mattered. but with you, i learned that taking care of myself isn't selfish—it’s necessary. and you… you’ve shown me that it’s okay to do things for others, to give more than i ever thought i could. i know trust hasn't come easy for you. you’ve had to fight for it, and i’ve seen that. but i want you to know, the trust we’ve built, it means everything to me. it's not just about what we say; it’s what we’ve shown each other, day by day, that proves we’ve got something real. i don’t want to pretend i’ve got everything figured out, but i do know one thing: i’ve never felt this way before. and i want to keep building with you—slowly, carefully, but always toward something more.”

even though won was so beloved, you were the favorite between you both!!

“seeing her grow has been everythinggg” “they are so black cat and golden retriever” “love a good he fell first and harderrr” “these are my winners idc”

the prods hated that you guys were so loved

Sunoo 김선우

lowkey can see him as the host LMAOO

like he would be asking all the burning questions

instigating

rolling his eyes at all the dumbasses in the villa

but as a contestant

he’d be a bombshell

i just see him being so sweet (i mean he alr is from my assumptions)

he gives me the couple that partners up like day one and stays solid through the rest of the show

everything about him is just very lighthearted like he’s just there to have fun!!

but when he sees you he’d know that he’d want you

this might sound crazy but just looking at all the other girls repulses him (love them tho!)

he makes it clear that he’s into you and honestly it kinda makes you…teehee

as he continues his journey in the villa he’s adopted as the sweetheart™

everyone goes to him when they wanna vent and just need a listening ear.

another fan favorite: “bro where did they find this man” “OMGG a man that doesn’t play games and is actually not a literal pos ?/??//?? no way” “i need a man like sunoo in ways that are concerning to mankind”

you and him were talking at the beanbags one day and you were asking him why he seemed like he was too good to be true

“you just slept a lot”

“what does that mean?”

“because i’m the man of your dreams, so you like…manifested me”

you laughed, “shut up” you threw a loose pillow at his head

y’all would be like the boring couple

like gtfoh no one wants to see you two being IN LOVE

WE WANT DRAMA

it’s weird tho bc even tho y’all have been so solid, america kinda doesn’t believe you two

kinda like kendall and nicole like it just felt artificial

you would take losing challenges kinda hard because you were competitive

sunoo, however, didn’t care but he cared because you did, they were just dumb challenges

were y’all in it for the money or…?

but there was genuine love between you two and it was weird when y’all were voted the fakest girl and guy

it just didn’t make sense, but maybe it was the editing of the show?

til this day you’re like 90% sure the prods sabotaged but it’s ok!!

he just looked at you with so much admiration

he’d help you with your hair if you needed it (only in the event that you were the last girl to get ready or if you were just moving extra slow)

he brought your breakfast like clockwork

he was there if you needed literally anything like it’s insane

when you girls had to leave for casa he was heartbroken

but fortunately, you did leave a note for him!!

“hi baby!! a part of me feels like you’re gonna be hurt to read this but still we all had to go. i can’t wait to get back to you so we can catch up, i know it’s only gonna be a few days but you know how that feels like forever here. but still, all i’m gonna say is don’t be weird, use your best judgment, and make sure no one bugs out if you can help it. i’ll do the same. i left you a little keepsake, i’ll see you when i get back, precious!”

it’s so bittersweet because he loves the note and it’s like he can hear your voice as he reads it

but that’s the problem, he wishes you were actually here

but he looks across your vanity to see you left him his favorite perfume of yours in a sample just for him

would spray it on him and even spray it on the bed

when the casa girls came he was nice

it made him sick to his stomach to see another girl sitting at your spot on the vanity table but he knew it was temporary (unless she was picked)

he kept it cute

unfortunately some of the other guys didn’t so he knew recoupling was gonna be a bloodbath

heeseung acting like an asshole

jake doing God knows what

sunoo kinda hated everything that came with love island

you, alongside the friends that he’s made, were the only truly enjoyable things that came with the experience

the useless drama gave him migraines

you ended up coming back with no one and he did the same

it was a happy night for you two

he hated seeing the girls upset, as did you

but y’all were lowkey eating up the drama lmao

you guys didn’t make it to the final 4

you guys just barely made it in the votes

like out of the final 4, you guys were like 5th

tears

straight EMOTIONAL TEARS

the couples that were left didn’t want to see you guys go

you guys were beloved still by fans

fans didn’t believe in you guys until this moment

they were kinda sad that they didn’t bet on you guys earlier

but you and sunoo didn’t gaf about the money or clout that you gonna get after

all that you needed were each other

Riki 西村力

he auditioned as a joke lmao

he was not betting on making it but when he got the email that was gonna be a contestant, he was shocked

but again, he’s young and turnt so why not

yolo yk?

riki was the youngest boy in the villa (og)

in general he wasn’t that experienced

he’s only ever had one girlfriend in comparison to the others

it didn’t take much for him to realize that

the girls that came in were all older than him and going for the older guys

but it didn’t take a blow at his pride

personally, he doesn’t find the appeal in women that were so much older

like they’re paying bills and he just graduated like

they have nothing in common

but as a person, he got comfortable with the other islanders very quickly and learned a lot about what women do and don’t like from the older sisters in the villa (kinda like bergie from s5)

“yes, riki, you have to flirt. pursue, you’re a man now. most girls will only take initiative to a certain extent, the rest is on you.”

“i know but…how?”

just asking questions, figuring things out blah blah

his relationship with the guys is still very much younger brother

they also give him advice on girls

it’s terrible but he makes note of it so he knows what to and what not to do

he plays stupid pranks on everyone to kill time

but after a while it gets boring when he sees everyone paired off and he’s kinda just…there

but never fear!!

he’s surprised the prods actually like him enough to send him a girl his age

well actually it wasn’t the prods it was the fans that begged for him to have someone (not like he knew that)

“he’s so young, y’all are dead wrong for not having girls his age” “poor riki :( he’s so lonely” “love island plz cast me”

when you walked in, of course he knew you were stunning

i mean, look at you!! just his type

so naturally, all of the islanders were interrogating you at the firepit

“so, y/n, what’s your type?”

you smiled, a little flustered but expecting it. “tall, funny, i like them slim, but like muscular? so i’d say lean?? yeah, lean is the right word. also funny, exciting! i never like to be bored.”

everyone laughed, “well you don’t have to worry about that here, trust.” [sunoo’s girl] said

“i know, i’ve been watching y’all” you say with a playful lilt

heeseung tilts his head, “really? so, who do you have your eyes on right now?”

what a flirt i stg

you smiled, “not you”

to which that elicited a few laughs from the others, as well as him. “no seriously, anyone here catch your eye?”

you look to the boy sitting a few people down from you, “him”

he was dazed, half listening, and staring blankly at the wooden deck beneath his feet

the only thing that caught his attention was the fact that everyone was looking at him and that you called him out

“me?” he said, with some excitement

you nodded reciprocating, “yeah!”

jake intervened, “wait, how old are you?”

“riki’s age”

the islanders, sans you and riki, all ooooh’d and ahhhh’d

[jake’s girl] grabbed your arm, locking hers with yours. “that’s so cute, well, we’ll leave you guys to it. you know, gotta give them space.” she looked around at everyone else with wide, indicative eyes.

they all took hints and left, leaving you two just sitting there awkwardly

and i can’t say that y’all eventually found a groove because…you didn’t

it was so painfully awkward

it’s like all of those things that the girls spoke to him about just…left

but also when he would bring up things to talk about or would ask to see if you shared any interests, nothing clicked

“so do you like music?”

you smiled, “yeah…well who doesn’t like music?”

and vice versa

“do you like to watch tv?”

“of course,”

“cool! do you like anime?”

your shoulders slump, “i’ve tried to watch it, but i can’t seem to get into it. i watched the first season of hunterxhunter and—”

he laughed, “that’s because it’s hxh, that show is…strange. you gotta watch shit like death note, naruto–”

you groaned, “bro that show is mad long”

“you just need to skip all the filler episodes”

you stared at him blankly, “if i need a whole strategy guide to get through it, i’m not watching it”

“it’s a classic!”

wait…i take it back

there was SOMETHING

but somehow even after all of that he couldn’t get any further than just physical attraction

like he knew you were gorgeous but something about you felt dull

like there was nothing you guys had in common

a few days passed, but nothing.

and you both tried so hard

riki felt so attracted to you, i’ve said it before and i’ll keep saying it

however, nothing stuck and it was really disappointing

you felt similarly so you were on the same page

however, you still didn’t see the appeal in dating anyone so much older

so in some way, riki was like all you had

and you hated the idea of using someone for convenience or obligation

you wanted to want him and for it to be real

in a confession, riki says, “it sounds so shallow to say this but, she checks off all of my boxes. stunning, 10/10. but i feel like nothing’s landing with us, you know? i want to get to know her but i feel like we’re just forcing it. and i don’t want her to feel like she has to settle for me either.”

fans felt him, but still just wanted you guys to work because they saw the potential!!

“but they look so good together!!” “a part of me is sad that there’s nothing there, but another part is kinda glad that riki is getting a taste of what love island and dating is like. it’s good for him.”

so one night, you guys sat down and things finally came to a head

you guys were alone, all the other islanders kinda scattered throughout the villa and the yard space

“i’m just gonna be honest because i feel like you deserve that.”

he nodded curtly, waiting for you to finish, already anticipating what was coming

“i just don’t think this is working—and it’s not you! i just feel like we’re trying too hard. like you’re everything and more. funny, you’ve been really nice, you’re attractive, but i just feel like we’re missing something.”

there was a beat of silent but then his shoulders settled

riki smiles, “it’s ok, i’ve been feeling the same way,”

your eyes bulged, “wait you too! omg, this sounds terrible but i’m so relieved wtf.”

you both shared a laugh

you were both glad that the pressure to perform for one another was alleviated

since then, things have been ok!!

you did couple up with each other

mainly for the convenience, and you liked each other enough to not want the other to leave

you guys are hilarious and are sort of the comedic duo of the villa

you guys are kids in comparison to rest so…very childish

but not in an annoying way!!

sort of like spongebob and patrick

ok they’re annoying…

but THEY ARE FUNNY

you both express these feelings in confessionals:

riki: “since we talked about it, it feels different…like in a good way! there’s no pressure and we just vibe now, and i’d like to get to know her for real this time. i feel like i only know her on a friend level, which is nice. i want a friend first you know?”

you: “ok, so why is riki actually funny…? i’m honestly not sure how i missed all of those things the first time around. i feel like i was trying too hard to see if we’d work out and it’s made me miss all of the things that make him fun to be around.”

nonetheless the fans ate up yalls dynamic

but they were still skeptical like…

“...are we sure they’re just not too comfortable? i mean like i love their vibe but WE NEEDD THE ROMANCE” “my besties to lovers slowburn senses are tingling…” “i feel like they’re gonna realize they’re perfect for each other after all omggg”

the islanders couldn’t STAND yall omg

sabotaging challenges

messing up relay races

“you guys gotta stop plotting against us during these challenges” jake groaned as he wrung out his soaked tank top

“it’s just strategy, jakey” you and riki high five, as you then double over laughing

to which he watches you with a smile

but eventually…cracks started to show

when the nights were extra breezy and your dress didn’t cover you up that well, he gave you his jacket

he brought you breakfast every day and made sure jay didn’t put too much or too little of anything in or on whatever you wanted to eat

the way your smile lingered a little too long when he was teasing you

but of course, there’s cameras and fans see it!!

“bro they’re literally falling in love rn and they DONT EVEN KNOW IT” “this feels like the friends to lovers arc i didn’t know i needed” “riki’s smile when she was laughing???? yeah he’s gone”

and don’t kill me

but riki didn’t even peep his feelings until the godforsaken heart rate challenge

you dressed up as a referee: black and white striped crop top, low rise shorts, knee length socks, some cute converse, and of course a whistle

nothing too scandalous!!

you guys are young so no one is expecting a lot from either of you. it’s weird almost, you guys are like the little brother and sister to everyone

so you didn’t do anything extreme, just some funny one-liners.

until you got to riki…

saving the best for last, you sauntered toward him

the boys ooooo’d and playfully punched him; just guy stuff. gross.

anyways!!!

you flung the string of you whistle around his neck and pulled him closer to you as you got on your knees in front of him

and said, “i think you’re my biggest rule breaker,”

not only were you pulling him physically, you were pulling him in every other way possible

his eyes physically couldn’t leave yours

his heart was beating out of his chest and you hadn’t even really touched him

you pulled him in with your laugh

you pulled him in with your silly little remarks and jabs

and now you were pulling him in with this cheap ass whistle

he smiles, as awestruck as can be, “what rule did i break?”

“you stole my heart”

you’ve never been this bold before

but you did pull him closer, whistle string still around his neck and now his eyes low. almost intoxicated by you

“and you got mine”

wait you didn’t think he’d respond RIGHT THERE ??? WAIT

luckily no one else heard exactly what he said

but you’re like 80% y’alls mics picked it up

STILL so corny, so cheesy, but oh so true

you ended up racing his heart the most!! (duh)

after everything, you guys ended up debriefing…

you guys sat down at the dock and sort of were reliving the chaos that just left you both

then when it got to you, “oh i didn’t know you even had that in you” he lightly hit your knee

you grabbed his hand as you laughed, completely oblivious to the tingling feeling in your stomach

“me neither! i mean it was crazy!! i’ve never been stared at for so long before”

“it was well deserved, especially what your ass put me through!”

you kinda gagged at that, some idiotic part of you was hoping that he just forgot or MAYBE wouldn’t mention it. thus, you ignored what he said and hoped he wouldn’t repeat it.

if you ignore it, it will go away

“do you really think i stole your heart?” he asked

“don’t bring that up! i was just trying to win the game”

he sucked his teeth, rolling his eyes, “shut up! you meant that shit, and i meant what i said too”

you looked around, “you’re serious?”

he nodded, reaching for your hand. “as a heart attack.”

your breath caught for a moment, and you weren’t sure what to say

your relationship with riki had been so playful and friendly (as far as you know it) for as long as you met him

yes, you meant what you said in the challenge but there really isn’t much you guys had in common.

i mean, you guys tried to find commonalities and things to bond over and it didn’t go anywhere

“that’s great, riki. but i just don’t want this to end up like how it was before. like it was so awkward and weird and i don’t want this to ruin us.”

his thumb brushed against your hand, sending sparks through it, “believe me, i know,” he snickered. “but this feels different now though, doesn’t it? i think so.”

you leaned back in thought, “it does, i…like the way this feels. but what if we mess this up again? what if we get—i just don’t want us to not be us again.”

he scoots a little closer to you, your legs now touching. his grabs your leg and placed it over his lap. “then let’s keep it simple,”

you were a little startled by the intimacy but you maintained your cool when you saw that knowing, gentle smile play on his lips. “simple?”

“yeah,” his hand rested lightly on your shin. “think about it, we tried to be romantic without even knowing each other. now, i know you. i know you more than anyone i’ve known ever. even all 20 of your favorite colors. your favorite rom-coms, i even know your skincare routine in order.” he laughed, “at this point, nothing can bring us back to that.”

“and if it does?” you asked softly, eyes now meeting his own.

his hand slowly moved up and down your shin. “then break my heart. break it into a million pieces.”

your ears perked up, “wait–you watched–you’re so lame! you watched to all the boys and didn’t even—”

he laughed, “shut up,” before he rested his hand on your cheeks and pulled you into the sweetest kiss you’d ever imagined

maybe being with riki didn’t seem so impossible after all

fans loved you guys!!

“i just love the childlike innocence that they bring to the sluttery of his show” “just a breath of fresh air honestly” “THE SLOW BURN BURNED I TOLD YALL”

y’all made it to the final 4!!

the final date was something simple; honestly you both appreciated something chill in contrary to the hooliganism that you guys underwent everyday

the prods set up a stunning outdoor setup: a cozy blanket laid out in the middle of a private field with fairy lights strung on nearby trees, a telescope angled at the sky, and a basket of their favorite snacks.

ooh! and there was a special smores kit right next to card decks.

playing cards, uno (you both avoided that one; no need to start arguing on a date), truth or dare

but his final speech, brace yourself:

“coming into this, i didn’t think i’d get attached to anyone. i thought it’d be fun, a chance to just...be myself and enjoy the ride. and for a while, it was just that. but then,” he paused, looking directly at you “you came along. and everything changed. at first, i thought we couldn’t be more different. we didn’t even make sense on paper, like literally the only thing that we had in common was our age. but then you started pulling me in—in every way possible. your laugh, your little comments, the way you carried yourself. i was hooked before i even realized it. and yeah, it wasn’t perfect, we had our awkward moments. but every time, we found our way back to something real. something i didn’t know i needed until it was right in front of me. i know i joke around a lot, but when i think about what you’ve given me—your time, your patience, your trust—it’s not something i take lightly. you’ve made me want to be better, not just for you, but for myself. so, if i’ve learned anything from this experience, it’s that love isn’t about finding someone who fits into your life perfectly or someone who likes everything you do. it’s about finding someone who just gets you and someone you’re willing to do things for. all because they’re worth it— and you’re so, so worth it. every awkward moment, every stupid rom-com i watched secretly because i knew you liked it, every marshmallow i burned trying to impress you. all of it. so, whether we win or not tonight, i already know what i’ve gained. you’re my best friend, now lover. you’re my world now, i love you, and i’ll do whatever i need to, to make sure that you’re reminded of it everyday.”

we all know who ended up winning

but still you guys are so beloved

and you even brought a younger audience to love island!!

granted you guys are so happy and get a ton of opportunities now

you’re a brand ambassador for your favorite clothing brand

riki and you also have your own brand deals together and those photoshoots are so much fun!!

you guys also stream and crash out over cod and fortnite together

couples that crash out together, stay together <3

taglist: @brxght-world @aruumyne @cara9065

#enhypen #enhypen x reader #kpop x black reader #enhypen fic #niki x reader #kpop #sunoo x reader #jungwon x reader

299 notes · View notes

ihatethecrowdsyouknowthat · 6 months ago

Text

what a bland goodbye - spencer reid x fem!reader

reader goes to spencer's apartment for a needed breakup. no matter how much they love each other.

genre: angst wc: 935 warnings: breakup, reader wears heels, crying (duh), no happy ending, right person wrong time???, mentioned emotionally unavailable spencer

based off loml by ts!!! (im sorry), also this is much shorter than i intended!!!

The hallway is colder and your heels are louder than you remember. Snowflakes cover your head, your nose freezing from the cool, winter air. The familiar building somehow pains your heart with how much you'll miss it. You're not sure how long it'll take for the route here to be wiped from your body's autopilot. Even the door marked "23" is comforting. Something you'll have to get over soon.

His unsuspecting and far too joyful form when he opens the door makes you immediately want to rethink your intentions. Spencer's arms wrap around you as inviting as they've always been, the smell of coffee and laundry detergent unwelcome for the first time.

"You said you wanted to talk, what's going on?" he murmurs almost mindlessly into your shoulder.

Already, your eyes burn. You pull back and look up at him with an apologetic smile that hurts.

Chapped lips part as his eyebrows furrow. It's like he can feel how torn you are. But he doesn't get it. "Morgan says that when a girl says 'we need to talk,' it means that you're in trouble. I told him that's ridiculous but then I started to overthink and thought that maybe I did do something so I went through the last couple weeks but... I don't know what I did."

He nervously laughs, "he's ridiculous, right?"

Well, not exactly. It wasn't an easy decision to come to. It took a lot of convincing from your smarter side. You just couldn't put up with it anymore. The long hours were bad enough, but he'd never open up, despite eyebags showing just how much he needed to. Long hours were spent wondering if he'd be coming home unharmed or with an extra scar that's yet to be healed. As much as you want to, you can't stay. He's tortured. He needs someone with more to offer. More to give. You're not what he needs.

Glossy eyes find his hopeful ones and you feel despicable. "Spence..."

"What?" he whispers shakily.

It's now or never, you figure, inhaling an unsteady breath. No going back. Like a bandaid, right? If bandaids caused more tears, maybe.

"I want to break up." You attempt to sound firm, decisive, valiant but your voice wobbles and you sound nothing short of pathetic.

Beautiful, delicate features you've spent so long memorizing distort into a mixture of pain and confusion. The same features you've kissed and ran your fingers over every chance you got. You mourn those moments silently as he tries to understand. You know he won't. In only seconds, his eyes match yours in terms of despair, like he's already picturing the moment you walk out and leave him behind like a bad memory.

"Why? Is it... something I did?" he asks, voice so soft and breakable it makes everything ache.

"No. It's-it's me. I just can't... I can't." Tears gather on your lashes before spilling over onto cold cheeks.

"Can't?"

The way he's trying so hard to get it is what makes the moment last forever. What could you possibly say to explain yourself? It all feels so insignificant right now.

In his suit and tie, so pretty, he exhales sharply in frustration, a shot to your softened soul. He waits for your answer but you're not sure you have one to smooth the crease between his eyebrows.

You sigh and mutter, "I can't be in this. We don't work, Spencer. You don't talk to me, I-" you sniffle, sobbing hard, "I can't do a relationship where you're never here and, even when you are, you're- I don't know..."

He shakes his head and breathes out as his lip trembles. "You're the love of my life," he whispers, saline rolling down.

"I know." A particularly loud sob leaves you and you nod. "I just can't."

"Can't or won't?" he asks bitterly.

You shake your head, "don't do that."

Somber eyes you love look down at you, begging you wordlessly. In a simple glance, small moments that shaped how you saw and felt about him, it was truly legendary. But you couldn't deal with just those flickers of forever. They were momentary. They're not enough.

He pleads, "we can work it out. We can-"

"Stop. Please."

"So that's it? You're just leaving? I can't say anything?" he breathes desperately, crying in a way you've never seen.

You hate how your mind shows you only the things you wish you could unrecall. All the soft pants, gentle kisses, coffee dates, library trips, interlocked fingers and goodnight texts. Every memory that's only making this harder. "I'm sorry." Small sobs shake your body as each breath seems more difficult.

Spencer shakes his head, pretty curls falling in front of his face. "That's it?" he says in fear.

Sadly, you nod, wishing things could be different. Maybe they could be. One day.

"Goodbye," you whisper through a low sob.

He looks at you with a love that you know will never quite be buried. Not for years, at least. Part of you wants that love to come back to you. When he can be what you need and you can be what he needs.

He mutters, "bye," and you leave, for the first time with a heavy heart. You've never loved someone as much as you've loved Spencer. The breakup was needed but how long will the ache last? How long will you hide away in your room? How long will you dream of a reunion?

How long will it take for the thought of Spencer Reid to not leave you feeling homesick over something you're never sure you had?

tags: @1mnshw @sweetestthingonthissideofhell @punkndisorderrly

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid x you #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid angst #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff

255 notes · View notes

goldfades · 3 months ago

Note

Devin Booker angst… maybe some commitment/trust angst because of past ex cheating fallout. Good ending but deffff some angst 🫠

Another one… birthday planning for Devin. Simple for a simple man.

im gonna do the angsty one just cause i love me some good angst :) ALSO THIS IS ACTUALLY SO ANGSTY but has a happy ending!!! so be warned!!

There were things Devin never talked about.

Not because he couldn’t—but because he wouldn’t.

He had learned, a long time ago, that some things were easier left unsaid. That silence was its own kind of armor, that keeping certain thoughts locked away meant they couldn’t be used against you.

And for the most part, it worked.

Until you.

Until this.

Lately, it felt like something was slipping through the cracks. Like the space between you was stretching wider and wider, pulling taut, waiting to snap.

You felt it. He knew you did.

It was in the way you looked at him when you thought he wasn’t paying attention. The way your fingers hesitated before reaching for him, like you weren’t sure if he’d let you in or pull away.

The way you kept asking—softly, cautiously—if everything was okay.

And the way he kept saying yes, even when it wasn’t.

Because the truth was, Devin didn’t know how to talk about it.

Didn’t know how to put into words the way trust felt like something fragile in his hands, like something that could be taken from him just as easily as it had been given.

Didn’t know how to explain that every time you went out without him, every time your phone buzzed late at night, every time he saw you laugh a little too freely at something another man said—his mind went there.

Not because he thought you would hurt him.

But because someone else already had.

And the worst part?

He hated himself for it.

For doubting. For overthinking. For feeling like he was ruining something good before it could even turn bad.

But no matter how hard he tried to push it down, to pretend like it wasn’t eating at him—the feeling stayed.

And you?

You were waiting.

For him to say something.

For him to let you in.

For him to decide whether this was something worth fighting for, or something he was too afraid to hold.

The thing about trust was that it didn’t just exist. It wasn’t something you could hold in your hands, something tangible and solid, something you could tuck away and know it would stay right where you left it.

No—trust was something you had to build. Something you had to choose, over and over again.

And Devin wasn’t sure if he knew how.

Not after what happened before. Not after the late-night lies, the gut feeling he ignored for too long, the hollow apologies that didn’t mean a damn thing. Not after the way he found out, after the way he swore he wouldn’t let it happen again.

And now?

Now he was here. With you. And every time he felt himself settling in, every time he felt that quiet, terrifying kind of peace that came with loving someone the way he loved you—he felt the fear creep in, too.

Because what if he was stupid again?

What if he let himself believe in something real, only to have it slip through his fingers?

What if—

“Dev,” your voice was soft, hesitant, pulling him out of his head.

He hadn’t even realized how quiet he had gotten, how long he had been sitting there, staring at nothing while you watched him from across the room.

He blinked, forcing himself to look at you.

You were standing near the kitchen, arms crossed over your chest, the kind of tension in your shoulders that made it clear you felt it too.

The shift.

The distance.

The space that had been growing between you for weeks now.

You chewed on your bottom lip before exhaling, taking a step closer. “Are you gonna tell me what’s going on?”

His jaw tightened. “Nothing’s going on.”

Your eyes flickered with frustration. “Don’t do that.”

He sighed, running a hand over his face. “Do what?”

“Shut down on me,” you said, voice quieter now. “Act like I can’t see when something’s wrong.”

Devin leaned back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling for a moment before letting out a slow breath. “It’s not that easy.”

Your brows furrowed. “What’s not?”

He hesitated, his fingers twitching slightly against his knee. He wanted to tell you. He did.

But the words wouldn’t come.

So instead, he shook his head, letting out a humorless chuckle. “Forget it.”

You were quiet for a beat. Then—

“Do you still trust me?”

His eyes snapped to yours.

Your voice wasn’t accusing. It wasn’t angry. Just... tired.

Tired of the guessing. Tired of waiting for him to let you in.

His throat felt tight. “It’s not about that.”

You gave a hollow laugh. “That’s not an answer.”

Devin ran a hand down his face, exhaling through his nose. He could feel how badly you wanted the truth. But how was he supposed to say it? How was he supposed to admit that he did trust you, but his mind kept fighting him on it? That no matter how much he knew you weren’t the same, that you would never do that to him, his brain still found ways to convince him otherwise?

That it had nothing to do with you and everything to do with the parts of himself he hadn’t figured out how to fix yet?

So instead, he said nothing.

And that silence was louder than anything else.

You inhaled sharply, blinking hard like you were trying to keep something at bay, before nodding once. “Okay.”

He frowned, the word settling uneasily in his chest. “What does that mean?”

You let out a breath, gripping the edge of the counter. “It means I can’t keep doing this.”

His stomach twisted. “Doing what?”

“This,” you said, gesturing between you two. “Walking on eggshells. Waiting for the next time you decide to pull away. Feeling like I have to prove something that I haven’t even done.”

Guilt spread through his chest, slow and suffocating. “That’s not what I’m trying to do.”

“I know.” You swallowed, shaking your head slightly. “But that’s what’s happening.”

He didn’t know what to say to that.

Because you weren’t wrong.

You let out a slow breath, crossing your arms tighter over your chest. “I love you, Devin.”

His throat tightened. “I know.”

“And I’ve been patient,” you continued, voice softer now. “I’ve given you space, I’ve let you take your time, I’ve let you deal with whatever’s in your head the way you needed to.”

You met his gaze, eyes searching his like you were trying to find him, to reach whatever part of him had been locked away all this time.

“But at some point, you have to decide if you trust me enough to let me in.”

The words hit him square in the chest.

Because you were right.

He knew you were right.

And yet—

“I don’t know how,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

You exhaled slowly, nodding, like you had already known the answer before he said it out loud.

And that was the worst part.

Because the way you nodded, the way your eyes softened just slightly—it wasn’t relief. It wasn’t the kind of understanding that meant things would be okay.

It was acceptance.

Like you were realizing, maybe for the first time, that loving him might not be enough.

The silence between you stretched, thick and suffocating, until finally, you turned toward the hallway.

“I’m gonna go to bed.”

He didn’t stop you.

Didn’t reach for you.

Didn’t say the words he should have said.

And as he listened to the sound of your footsteps fading down the hall, the weight of everything he hadn’t said pressed down on his chest, heavier than ever.

Because the thing about trust?

It didn’t just exist.

And if you weren’t careful, if you let it slip away too many times—

You might wake up one day and realize you lost it before you ever had the chance to hold it.

Devin didn’t sleep that night.

He laid there, staring at the ceiling, the weight of your words pressing down on him like an anchor. He could hear the quiet rustle of sheets from the other room, the space between you feeling impossibly wide even though you were just on the other side of the wall.

This wasn’t like your usual arguments—the ones that ended with you stealing his hoodie and curling into his chest like it never happened. This felt different. More final. Like you had already made up your mind about something he wasn’t ready to face yet.

And maybe it was selfish—maybe it was stupid—but he didn’t want to lose you.

Didn’t want to watch you walk away just because he couldn’t figure out how to fix the parts of himself that someone else had broken.

So, at some point in the early hours of the morning, when the world was still quiet and the weight of everything felt too heavy to carry on his own—he got up.

The floor was cold beneath his feet as he made his way toward the bedroom, hesitating just outside the door. It was cracked open, just enough for him to see the rise and fall of your shoulders beneath the blanket.

For a second, he thought about turning around. Thought about waiting until morning, or pretending like this conversation never happened at all.

But he knew that wouldn’t work anymore.

So, instead, he stepped inside, slow and cautious, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed.

He stood by the bed for a moment, watching the way your breathing stayed even, your body curled just slightly away from him. He wondered if you were still awake. If you had been waiting for him to come to you, or if you had already started to let go.

The thought made his chest ache.

Quietly, he sat down on the edge of the bed, his fingers brushing against the sheets. “You up?”

You didn’t say anything at first, but then—

“Yeah.”

Your voice was hoarse, like you had been holding something in for too long.

Devin swallowed hard. He wasn’t good at this part. At saying the things that mattered.

But he was trying.

“I don’t wanna lose you.”

A beat of silence. Then, you let out a slow breath, shifting slightly so you could look at him. “I don’t want to lose you either, Dev.”

His jaw tensed, his fingers twitching against the blanket. “Then why does it feel like I’m pushing you away?”

You let out a soft, tired laugh. “Because you are.”

He exhaled, pressing his palms against his face for a moment before dragging them down. “I don’t mean to.”

“I know,” you said softly. “But it’s still happening.”

Devin stayed quiet, staring down at the blanket between you. He wasn’t used to feeling this vulnerable. Wasn’t used to letting his thoughts spill out before he had the chance to shove them back down.

But if there was anyone he could say this to—it was you.

So, after a long pause, he finally admitted, “I don’t know how to let go of it.”

You furrowed your brows. “Let go of what?”

He swallowed hard, eyes flicking up to yours before dropping again. “The past.”

It was the first time he had actually said it. The first time he had admitted, out loud, that everything he was struggling with had nothing to do with you and everything to do with the shit that came before.

The betrayal. The late-night fights. The way he found out through someone else instead of hearing it from her.

The way it had made him question everything—including himself.

You were quiet for a long moment, like you were waiting to see if he would say more. When he didn’t, you sighed, shifting so you were sitting up against the headboard.

“I’m not her, Devin.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” you asked, voice softer now. “Because it feels like I’m paying for someone else’s mistakes.”

He exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “It’s not that simple.”

“It is,” you countered gently. “I love you. And I would never—never—do that to you.”

He let your words settle, rolling them over in his mind, trying to let them sink in deeper than the fear that had taken root there.

But old wounds had a way of staying open, even when you thought they were healed.

“I just—” He shook his head, struggling for the right words. “I don’t know how to trust that.”

You blinked, looking down at your hands for a moment before nodding slowly. “Then let me show you.”

His brows pulled together. “How?”

You reached out then, tentative but firm, your fingers brushing against his wrist. “By letting me in,” you said simply. “By letting me love you without you waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

Devin stared at you, his throat tight, his heart hammering against his ribs.

Because that was the real issue, wasn’t it?

He wasn’t afraid of being lied to.

He was afraid of believing in something good and watching it fall apart anyway.

But he was starting to realize—he had two choices.

He could keep pushing you away, keep letting the past dictate the way he held onto the present.

Or he could choose you.

Choose to believe in what you had.

Choose to trust that this time, it was real.

So, he made a decision.

Slowly, hesitantly, he shifted toward you, resting his forehead against yours, his fingers curling around your wrist. “I’m trying,” he murmured.

You exhaled, your free hand sliding up to cup his cheek. “That’s all I need.”

For the first time in weeks, Devin felt like he could breathe.

He wasn’t perfect. He had his shit, and there would be days where the doubt crept in, where the past threatened to pull him under.

But he wasn’t alone.

And that?

That was enough.

#devin booker #devin booker x reader #devin booker fic #devin booker imagine #nba x reader

140 notes · View notes

softtdaisy · 4 months ago

Text

the right one - Charles Leclerc

summary. charles never forgave himself for letting you go. when arthur lose you, he is the one who has the heal your broken heart this time.

words count. 4,313

what to expect. it's the second part of the other one. I guess you can read it separately but some things might not make sense (specially the glue part). inspired by congratulations from Hamilton. mention of cheating, everyone is so sad in this story I'm sorry (im not) and arthur is terrible boyfriend

a/n. can you believe i told @monzabee about this fic in December 2023??? and it's finally out after all this time. I'm so happy I finally did it and gave these two another part, they deserve love and happiness.

F1 masterlist | general masterlist | request

When he first heard them, Charles didn’t want to believe the rumors.

For the winter break, he decided to go on a road trip in Italy with his best friends. For multiple reasons, he chose to get rid of any type of social media. Charles needed a real break after the season that had been more difficult than he thought it would.

Also because a part of him still hasn’t gotten over you.

It was too difficult to see Arthur post pictures and stories with you all the time. And if he couldn’t escape it, nor you in the paddock during the season, Charles decided to leave all his bad feelings behind for a few weeks.

No matter how hard he tried these past months, Charles couldn’t get rid of his love for you. If he ignored you during the end of last season, even if he had your glue everywhere with him, he wanted to be nicer this year.

Not like he had a choice if he wanted to keep a good relationship with Arthur, who still had no idea about what happened between you and Charles. He also wasn’t completely stupid: he knew it could look bad on him if he kept ignoring the photographer around the paddock.

And it would be a lie to say that he didn’t miss you. Sure, a part of him was still aching when he was making you laugh and smile, thinking he couldn’t have the privilege to see that every day for the rest of his life because you chose Arthur over him. But he tried to be more mature and accept that if this was the best he could have, then he would appreciate it.

This was also one of the reasons why he couldn’t believe the rumors when he heard them. There was no universe in which someone would purposely hurt you.

The first time he heard about the rumors, it was because some friends from Monaco sent him a text. “What’s going on with Arthur? Is it true?” Charles was more than confused. What could be true about his brother? He didn’t want to sound stupid to ask them but still didn’t want to put his social media back on his phone.

So he turned to Joris. Because that man knew everything that there is to know. And because he knew that his friend would never lie to him. This explained the embarrassed expression on his face when Charles asked him if he knew anything about something Arthur might have done.

“You sure you want to know?” he asked him. Charles understood that something serious was going on. Even when the truth was ugly, Joris never asked him if he really wanted him to be honest. Not when Ferrari was not doing great, not when fans criticized him, not when everyone had something to say about his private life. But he didn’t hesitate a single second and agreed to hear the truth.

“Apparently…your brother cheated on his girlfriend.” Charles’ world went silent for a few seconds. That couldn’t be true. He couldn't believe it. People must be wrong and bored and choose to create drama because of the off-season. Right?

“Actually…” Joris continued. “It’s not really a rumor since Arthur basically admitted it.”

It was a damper.

Charles left for a few weeks, and his brother decided to ruin everything he gave up his own happiness for?

“Is it true?” He sent Arthur. No explanation.

“Yes.” He only answered.

It took Charles only a few hours to come back to Monaco. On the plane back, he opened his social media again, answered some comments and messages, and shared some Ferrari stuff. And looked at the mess Arthur created.

“Let’s review…” Charles started. As soon as he arrived, he asked Arthur and Lorenzo to come with him in the living room to discuss. They all stayed at the family house to deal with the major crisis. From what he learned, paparazzis were going around Monaco to catch any of you: Lorenzo, Arthur, and especially you. The victim of all this mess.

Charles still hasn't seen you, though. Lorenzo’s girlfriend took you for a ride away from there, knowing Charles was coming back and that there would be a confrontation between the brothers. You didn’t need to hear about all that again. You knew the story. Well, you knew some parts of it. You refused to hear Arthur’s explanation.

Charles knew it was for the better, but he still couldn’t wait to see you. Scared of how you would be. Scared of how he will react too.

He finally took a big breath before continuing. “This girl pretended to be pregnant with your child. And instead of just saying that you didn’t have sex with her, you said she wasn’t the one you slept with?” He chose his words wisely, taking the time to say everything correctly. Even if there were no good ways to talk about this situation.

“I panicked! What should I have done?”

“Don't say anything!” he screamed back, slamming his hands on the table. “You should have just shut your mouth and not said a fucking thing.”

“Charles…” Lorenzo warned him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

He sighed and apologized, trying to calm down. His brother was right; there was no use being aggressive against Arthur. The harm has been done and couldn’t be undone. But when he gave his baby brother a look, he couldn’t handle it. Arthur looked like he didn’t understand why Charles was so angry. Like he couldn’t see the real harm in this. “Or better, you shouldn’t have cheated,” he added.

Everything stopped around the three brothers. “Charles!” Lorenzo repeated, louder this time and with a more authoritarian tone. Like there was back in childhood when he had to play the big brother between the two younger brothers fighting for the same car.

Except this time, it was for the same girl.

Charles knew he had to calm down and play it more cleverly. He closed his eyes and put his head in his hands, trying to think of a way to say things more nicely without making Arthur turn on him. He didn’t even know how he could do that: he was so mad at his brother for doing such a stupid thing.

“Aren’t you supposed to support me?” Arthur asked with a disdainful voice that made Charles look up immediately. He couldn’t even find the right way to answer this. Maybe Arthur could feel the disappointment, which is why he looked that angry. He was never the Leclerc who disappointed the family.

Lorenzo had a lot of pressure as the big brother, the one that had to be a model and perfect at any point. Charles had the celebrity pressure; being the most famous Leclerc, he had to behave perfectly. But Arthur? Everybody saw him as the baby, never accepting any bad decisions from him. Or even when he did, he was forgiven immediately.

He was not used to having people being mad at him. You were, which was already a problem. But Charles was too, and that he couldn’t handle. This explained why Arthur went upstairs silently. Well, as silently as he was, hitting the staircase loudly.

Charles let out a loud sigh when Arthur disappeared. “You two need to talk.” Lorenzo told him, to which he agreed without the desire to deal with that right now. Instead, he started talking with his more reasonable brother about their holidays. He knew Arthur needed some minutes to calm down.

He needed them too.

He only decided to go upstairs when he saw the car parking in front of the house. You were back.

And he couldn’t face you right now.

—

“Thank you for coming.” Charles stopped what he was doing after that sentence. He had finally gone to see Arthur after you came back home. He waited just a minute to hear your voice, even if he couldn’t see you. He had no idea if he should accept some good or bad feeling from hearing you. He was torn between the fire that lit up again in his heart from your simple words and the hurt of knowing he was only there because of his and Arthur's bad decisions.

After he entered his brother’s room, the one he assumed you shared with him, they both stayed silent for a moment. Charles was dealing with his social media when Arthur finally decided to speak.

And Charles was more confused than he should be. What did this mean? He turned around to look at Arthur. He was still standing next to the window, watching you outside talking with Lorenzo’s girlfriend. There was something on Arthur’s face that Charles didn’t like. Almost like he couldn’t understand why you came back. Why were you still around? Like he was waiting for you to go away after what happened.

“I don’t know how to deal with that. I needed you here.”

This time, it was Charles that couldn’t truly understand what was going on. Actually, no, he can. He loved his baby brother with his whole heart and would have done anything for him. To protect him. To save him from whatever situation he put himself into. But now, looking at him with the whole situation going around, Charles realized something.

Arthur knew. He knew that Charles would have always come to his rescue. Sacrifice things for him. Do anything for his brother’s happiness before his. And that’s what he was expecting from today too.

“No.” Charles first said, mostly for himself. But it made Arthur turn around too, curious. For the rest, it came out more confidently. Like a part of him had been waiting for ages to finally say these words. “I’m not here for you.”

He heard Arthur’s nervous laugh, and he took a step back. He wasn’t even scared of his brother; it would have been stupid for many reasons. No, he was more scared of his own mind right now. He still couldn’t believe he said it. Out loud. What he was thinking from the start.

You became his priority.

You had been for so long.

But Arthur didn’t let him go away with him and took this step forward and some others. “What do you mean?”

“You fucked up, Arthur.” Charles started, pointing at the window. Pointing at you. “You cheated on your girlfriend. She was willing to give up everything for you; she already did in the past. And you thank her like that? By sleeping with some other girl you don’t even know? Do you seriously think that’s what she deserves?”

Arthur looked at him blankly. With just a smirk. Not a fun or laughing one. No, a mean one. One that Charles had never seen on his brother. It was almost like he was discovering a new face for his baby brother. And the worst was yet to come.

“You still love her.” Arthur said with an emotionless voice. And it was a real hit in the heart for Charles. He never thought that Arthur knew about his feelings. Sure, he had never been more discreet when it came to his heart. And the way he went from praising you to ignoring you during the weekend said a lot. Maybe the worst part wasn’t much that Arthur knew about his feelings. It was that he knew and let Charles sacrifice himself for him. “I should have expected it. She’s hard to forget, I guess.”

“You’re going to learn now.” Arthur laughed at this answer because it was the truth. He played, and he lost. Just like Charles did last year, technically. If Charles gave up, Arthur lost at his own game. The game over wasn’t the same, except for the fact the lost prize was the same: you. You and your heart. You and your beautiful smile were maybe gone for longer than it should have been.

Charles couldn’t handle it anymore. The more he stayed in this room, the more he was getting hate for his brother, and it was definitely not the family dynamic he wanted. So he walked to the door, ready to leave. Or to finally do what he wanted from the beginning.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Charles turned around one last time to look at his brother. But Arthur wasn’t looking at him. He took his place back, near the window. Watching you. From there, it looked like he was trapped in some kind of prison. One he was to blame for being in. But maybe the real story behind this was that he was the watchman and you were the prisoner. At least for now.

“Why did you let me date her?”

“Sometimes you love someone so much you accept to put their happiness before yours.” Arthur gave him one single look. One that said everything that needed to be known. He wasn’t the one Charles gave up his happiness for. He did it thinking it was the right decision for you.

—

When Charles went outside, you were still there. Alone this time. You sat on the swing seat, your eyes locked on your own shoes, not giving any interest to the environment around you. Charles’ heart broke a little at this sight. The sun wasn’t supposed to stop shining on the people around it. You weren’t supposed to stop being this joyful person.

Even if he tried to walk slowly and not scare you, you jumped when Charles sat next to you. “Sorry,” he immediately mumbled. You offered him a small smile while he was trying to find a good seat. Ironically, he was making it move even more and making it harder to sit.

You were the one holding on to the structure to slow the movements. “I’m not great at this.” He laughed nervously. Charles didn’t know how to act around you. It wasn’t easy most of the time. But now it was even harder. They never teach you how to act around the woman you loved and let go, but even less when this same woman got her heart broken by your brother.

“Thank God you’re better behind the wheel,” you replied, now looking straight in front of you. You couldn’t meet his eyes. You felt guilty. Sure, this whole situation wasn’t your fault; nothing could ever make you think that. But you hated that Charles had to comfort you now. After what happened between you last year, it didn’t feel right. Or fair.

Charles shrugged, purposely hitting on your shoulder while doing it. “Well, you’re not seeing him when I sit in the car.” You turned your face to him and couldn’t contain a laugh when you saw his proud expression. In the dark, his smile was the small light you needed to not break down. It made you feel like there was still hope out there.

So when Charles stopped smiling, naturally a tear fell from your eye. “I’m so stupid,” you sighed, playing with your fingers. Immediately, he grabbed one of your hands and started playing with them too. You remember how it was something you did to him back then, when there was still something building around you. When he walked out of the car, he wasn’t very proud of what he did.

You both had the same habit of playing with your hands to avoid eye contact and focusing on something else.

You also both had the same habit of grabbing each other’s hand to help ease the anxiety.

“I never thought Ar…he would break my heart like that,” you confessed in a quiet and broken voice. A voice that was like a knife right in Charles’ heart. “You said it yourself, he has a pure heart. So why did he change? What did I do wrong?”

You started crying again. And Charles was fighting to not break down too. He hated seeing you like this. He hated that he was the one pushing you into Arthur’s arms. If Charles didn’t cause the pain, he was the triggering factor. If only he had been more selfish and kept you for himself, this wouldn’t have happened.

He got up, making the structure move again, but this time you didn’t have the strength to hold it. But the swinging didn’t last long. Charles immediately kneeled in front of you, grabbing your legs to stop you from swaying. And once you were stable, one of his hands moved to your face softly. You didn’t hesitate a single second before cuddling against it, even if it meant your tears would now fall on his fingers. If you didn’t want to share your pain with him, that was all Charles was asking. To take it with him so you would feel less hurt.

“You have nothing to do with Arthur’s mistakes, ok? I hate to say that, but I was wrong. I really thought he would treat you better than…” He stopped for a second, closing his eyes to consider what he wanted to say. But he was tired of holding back his words. “Better than I would. I never imagined he would do that; otherwise, I would have never pushed you in his arms. You deserve better, ok?”

You were absorbing every single word he was saying. Trying to remember every millisecond of his monologue so you could recite it before going to sleep that night and all the following ones when you would remember giving your heart to the wrong brother.

“You deserve the world.” Charles pursued. You watched as he put a hand in his jacket pocket to get something. “And I hope one day you’ll find the strength to open that glue too and accept the help from someone to heal your broken heart.”

He handed you the glue. The very same glue you gave him for his birthday. You weren’t quite sure Charles had healed his heart; he wasn’t sure himself.

The fact he kept it this whole time—more than that, that he had it with him tonight—was the forward thrust you needed.

You thanked him silently, with a smile that he understood immediately. Charles stayed like that for another minute, brushing away the tears that were still falling and caressing your knee in the softest way you’ve ever felt.

Then he sat back on the swing seat, with more precaution this time. For the next ten minutes, he tried to change your mind by speaking of the last season and what was coming. You didn’t speak much, except for some reactions here and there. The conversation wasn’t the real distraction in the end.

It was seeing Charles so full of life, something you’ve waited to see since you’ve met him. Deep down, you took it as proof that a better future was coming.

“Let’s go inside.” Charles offered after noticing the shivers in your body grow bigger. “I can escort you to your room.” He knew that you were staying in the guest room. It wasn’t hard to guess anyway, as all the brothers took their own room, and there was no way you would be sleeping with Arthur that night.

A part of him wished he could comfort you to sleep anyway.

Especially after you grabbed his hand to follow him inside. So lightly that he could let it go easily if he didn’t pay attention. But enough for him to feel the contact of your skin together and feel the heat growing in him.

“Goodnight,” you whispered to him, closing the door. Charles hated how he only noticed now how your makeup had actually been ruined through the day.

___

Charles was taking his shirt off when he heard slight bangs on his door. He was clearly not expecting anybody, especially not now and not in his family house.

His mom was already asleep; Lorenzo was never the type to come when the doors were closed; Arthur still hadn’t come back from what he knew. So it didn’t leave many possibilities.

As he could expect, you were the one behind the door when he opened it. Charles found it sad that you were still wearing the same pajamas you probably brought for your holiday: an old shirt that he recognized from Arthur’s wardrobe and a short that was showing too much leg for his own good.

But what made him even sadder was the expression on your face. If he thought you looked sad earlier, it was nothing compared to now.

“Do you mind if…” You didn’t even finish your sentence before your voice broke down. Charles moved aside to let you come in, giving a look in the corridor to make sure you were alone. Even if he didn’t have to explain himself if anybody saw you.

He would never let you be alone in the situation. Nor ever, now that he thought about it.

What he didn’t expect was that the moment he closed the door, you would fall in his arms. You didn’t show much attention to him except for accepting the one he gave you earlier. But you were the one who initiated it. Compared to now.

“I'm so tired of this, Charles,” you mumbled against his naked chest. The first thing that came to your mind was how you never felt more safe and comfortable than right now, in his arms. Not even Arthur could make for his big brother natural reassurance.

It was something that has always been true about Charles. People, friends, members of the team, family, and anyone who needed to feel comfort knew they could go to Charles for this. If he felt like he wasn’t always finding the right words, it seemed to work enough for people to feel better when they left.

Maybe that was always true about him too. People never seemed to stay.

“He’s not planning on coming back, and he left alone here, in your family house? What am I even supposed to do here by myself?” You started again, sounding angrier now. “I can’t fucking sleep in his bed because it makes me sick. Sleeping in the guest bed makes me feel bad because I don’t belong here. I feel bad because he’s not here. But he’s the one who fucked up. Why do I feel bad? Why do I feel guilty? Charles, I…”

Every word you said was like a knife in the heart for him. Hurting more than the punches you were hitting on his chest.

With each hour passing from this morning, Charles felt worse about the decision he took months ago. He should have never let you go. He would have never treated you this way.

When you broke down, Charles held you harder against his chest. He was humming, trying to calm you down. His head was above yours, and at some point, he naturally started kissing your hair. He was trying to create a peaceful bubble where you would feel at ease. Less sad.

“You can sleep here,” Charles offered in a whisper. “I don’t mind.”

It wasn’t until you were lying in his bed that you asked the question. Charles’ idea was to let you sleep in his bed and for him to sleep in the guest room. At least you didn’t risk Arthur coming at night, and he could deal with his brother. It never occurred to you that you would ask for the situation to be different.

But you grabbed his hand after he moved the sheet up your chest. “Would you…can you stay with me? Please?”

Charles looked at you with confusion but also hope. A hope that lowered over the months but that never died. He replied with a simple nod and sweet smile. A reassuring one. In a home where you probably felt unwelcome, even if it wasn’t entirely true, Charles wanted you to know you were at the right place right now.

So he didn’t waste another minute and went to lie next to you. The boundaries were pretty obvious with each of you sleeping at the end of the bed and with a gap between your bodies. While you were facing the wall, he was on his back, trying to organize the mess that had been that day.

Right when he closed his eyes to try to sleep, he felt the mattress moving. He couldn’t resist giving you a look. You were now facing him with your eyes open. “Charles?” you whispered.

He was obviously awake, yet you were scared of disturbing him. But he gave you that smile. The one he only had the secret. The one that opened the door to his life, his head, his heart.

“Will it be ok?”

You knew he would understand what you meant.

When you met Charles, he was so heartbroken that he chose to put all the good things in his life aside because he felt like he didn’t deserve to be happy anymore. And even if his anxiety was still a battle he had to fight every day, it got better. A few months ago, he probably would have ignored you because he would have thought it wasn’t his place to comfort you. To be the good person in your life.

But there he was, sharing a bed with you. Thinking that maybe tomorrow could be better. And that two days later could be even better.

He knew.

That was why he took your hand, the one resting on your pillow next to your face. He held it until you chose to intertwine your fingers together. A contact you both needed. To heal the past and the future.

Charles moved to lie on his side, facing you. And with his thumb brushing your skin, he gave you the only thing you needed to hear that night.

The only thing he also needed to say.

“It will. I promise."

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc angst #charles leclerc story #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 story #f1 angst #my writing

180 notes · View notes